A couple of issues regarding Cold Fuzion

[Ben W Bell]

All these items pertain to the Adventure Cold Fuzion.

In the Adventure Cold Fuzion you have a checklist at the end. The table columns do not line up with their respective headers, just a formatting problem.

Also, Act I Scene 3 is labeled in the adventure as being "The Chamber", whereas in the checklist it is listed as "The Octagon".

Similarly Act 2 Scene 2 in adventure is "A Riot in Town", and in checklist is "Riot on the Town".

Checklist Act 4. Scene 3 "These Times They Are A Changin" and Scene 5 "The Fuzion Lab" are listed in the adventure as Key, but not on the checklist.

On the header for the Cold Fuzion adventure change "A TRAVELLER20 ADVENTURE" to "A TRAVELLER[superscript 20] ADVENTURE" to be consistent with the rest of

the use.

Under the Requirements for the Adventure it makes it sound like the Traveller20 rules and the Traveller's Handbook are two different books. Consider revising slightly.

Under "NOTES ON THE EPIC ADVENTURE FORMAT" it states that it is divided into four main parts "The Adventure, the Cast of Characters, Library Data, and the Epic

Checklist." However in the layout the Cast of Characters actually comes before the adventure itself, but after the background. This may be standard text but it begins

specifically with "This Adventure".

The next paragraph states that there are four Acts in the adventure, each consisting of one or more scenes. Now this may be standard text for the Epic Format, but each of

the Acts in this adventure has 5 scenes (one has a 1A and a 1B), so saying this seems incorrect even though they may only use one scene in the act. Consider revising

this entire paragraph as it also goes on to say that the next Act takes place after ALL scenes from the current Act are completed.

Under the "Act and Scene Format" it states that under the "Referee Information" section it may include Library Data Links. Now this seems odd as there is a seperate

section at the end of each Act anyway that holds the Library Data Links.

Under "STANDARDS AND ASSUMPTIONS" it states that one of the locations for the adventure is Hansen's World (1732). Now on the maps this system is labelled as 750

-857. You may wish to point this out here in case people get confused if they look it up on the map.

With the rules for "THE DRUG" under the "Referee's Data" section it gives no indication of how often the user has to take the drug for. Surely someone who takes it every

day will suffer a lot quicker than someone who only has it socially once a month. Also what if someone is injecting and takes the entire vial at once instead of the quarter vial

they should be using as an injection dose? I think the rules for this need to be expanded slightly to take these questions into account.

"CAST OF CHARACTERS"
"Horace Bertran" The sentence in the first paragraph "His plan was to put some time in the commercial sector to sock away some money before applying for a position with

the Ministry of Justice." Add an IN before "some time in", also change "sock away" to "stash away" or something like that, I am not aware of the term "sock away" if that

was what was originally meant. Also in his stats some skills have spaces before the + modifier, and some don't. This needs checking throughout all the NPCs.

"Leo Farnold" Give him a knowledge skill for his knowledge of the Roman empire and emperors.

"Gvarrk Ouzushush" The sentence in the first paragraph "He had arranged for a shipment of Fuzion to be delivered to nearby world but something went wrong and the

Imperial authorities caught wind of the operation". Add in an A before "nearby world", and consider adding in the name of the nearby world as additional flavour text. Also

consider giving him some stats and skills as the players do meet with him at the start of the adventure before he winds up dead.

"Trenton Persus" Change the sentence "In heavy debt due to a love of gambling (but no skill).." to say "(but no real skill)" as to say he has no skill is incorrect as his stats

list him as having Gambling +6.

"KNOWN FACTIONS"
"Company Security" Sentence beginning "In certain situation, company security..." typo, situation needs changing to situations. Also you should list what these certain situations are.

I shall add more if and when I find them when I get a chance to read the main part of the adventure.

 

[womble]

**spoilers in this post**

I'll start by saying I'm very disappointed with this adventure. It starts with a shaky premise, continues with sketchy and linear buildup and feels like the end was rushed to make a deadline. It doesn't provide enough information for beginner refs in Traveller and advanced parties will be able to drive an 8-wheel ATV through the holes in the plot.

To specifics:

The Drug.
Ben makes some good points; stats on use of the drug will be handy. An additional effect of its storage in adipose tissues will be that the chance of flashbacks and psychotic episodes will be greatly increased if significant body fat is shed.

Cast
p161: Bertran is no better, stats-wise, than any of the other Company Security. If he can take 24 Raiders on his own, how come they got anywhere against the full complement of Security, plus Colonial Police who are better than him? And how did he (Level 6) manage to take 24 Raiders (also Level 6) on and survive, let alone achieve a losing draw, in T20 combat?

p161: Last sentence of Farnold makes no sense.

p162: "personality, he" should be ";"

Factions

p163: "detailed previous may" should be "previously"

p163: "quickly, and might be added publicy" should be "quickly and, it might be added, publicly"

p163: Skills are missing for the Colonial Police stat block

p164: "are red-herring" should be "are a red-herring"

p164: "should their chose" should be "should they choose"

p164: "on which...in on" two "on"s

p164: "The Adventure" - heading

Shipping Agent

p165: the "beacon" is a transponder

p165: "respond it the" should be "if"

p165: "a signal is broadcast at a specific frequency" should be "a specific code is broadcast on a specific frequency" Just screching on a wide band wil get a response, otherwise.

p165: The charging of storage fees is just nastiness to the players. Berthing fees at standard rate is reasonable.

p165: Second Data Point. Drugs? What drugs? Where do the players learn about drugs? It's not usual for interrogators to give away stuff they don't want interrogatees to know. There should be skill checks to find out what the customs boys are after.

The above aside, this is largely a waste of bits/toner/tree.
First: any party without a ship can't do it.
Second: Why would a freighter jettison cargo if they were pursued by pirates? If they did, why wouldn't the pirates just come back later and get it (sensor tech is obviously good enough that this would be a reasonable expectation - the Revenooers did)? Jettisoning the cargo does make sense therefore as a decoy but it doesn't make sense to expect it to still be there if tyhe decoy worked. Any cautious party will ignore this obvious scam. Any party with a ship big enough to haul 48T of cargo had better be able to make some money on the outward leg; this will depend on where the cargo was ditched, and it'd better be close.
Third: why did the smugglers ditch the cargo anyway? The whole point of having it in official sealed canisters is so the Revenoo can't find it. If that camouflage is of no value, why use it in the first place?

Fuzion Detonation

p166: Specifying a "starport bar" is unnecessary. The drugged-out loon is a local on a low-law world. Why would he need to come to startown? Maybe there's a reason, but there needn't be if you don't force it to be at a starport. Add that the security presence inside the extrality line and in this case the Law level will be higher than outside the starport. Also, using "local" all the time is largely extraneous.

p166: Some stats for the shooter would be nice.

p166: Stats for the locals would be nice too. Gunplay in a bar won't be unusual at this Law Level, and the locals sholdn't just be frightened sheep like they would be on a less self-reliant world.

p166: The automatic rifle is okay on the stated world, but is going to be tricky to explain on a higher law level world if the ref moves it.

p166: "first 10 rounds" combat rounds? How much ammo does this guy have? I can't see a drug crazed loon being big on fire discipline. And the players wil be armed with at least sidearms on this world, so if the fight runs 10 rounds I'd be amazed.

p166: Worth noting that if PCs take unconventional routes (under tables, over booth walls) that they'll not suffer such jostling. Newbie refs are less guided, more constrained by what they read.

p166: "If PCs use their weapons...in violation of the local Law"? It's LL2!

p166: Some description of Udeshasdiin would be nice, for local colour.

p166: Having the crazy's weapon jam is unecessary if you have him firing 4 round bursts; the clip empties after the 5th round. At this point he can have run out of ammo or simply change clip slowly depending on the needs of the story.

p166: Do the brother and sister work at the same place? Where do they work? And is the "sister" actually his "sister-in-law" as mentioned later?

p166: Why does the man need to write down the name of a famous nightclub? He knows where he met his dealer. Make it some other clue; a flyer, a book of matches. Anything. With a Search DC to find.

p166, and onwards: "the man" has a name. It's worth referring to him in the text by this name once the players find it out (even if they only find it out by earwigging on some local goon going through his stuff.

p167: Do his brother and sister-in-law have names?

p167: Some evidence of his paranoia would be nice. Survival manuals, books on Alien conspiracies, ghosts etc.

p167: Asking the bar patrons might also be a way of finding that Johan went to The Chamber regularly if the players haven't already divined this.

p167: There is no Library Data entry for Fuzion. The entry might include some idea of the astrographic extent of the drug's spread.

An abiding theme through all the Udeshasdiin scenes is the intervention (often heavy-handed) of local authority. Some explanation of this is needed because LL2, Govt2 seems like a near-anarchy. Certainly it's comparable to a Wild West town where there's not much Sherrif control. The planet needs some detailing.

The Chamber

p167 and on: "The Vargr" He's got a name; use it.

p167 Encounter 6: "undercover cop"? Yeah. Right.

p168: "illegal substance"? Precisely what is illegal on a LL2 world?

p168: "knew her" should be "him"

G'varrk's Apartment

p168: The door. What's the skill for the check?

p168: It's a very busy building if there's a body moving who might interfere with the players every 4 minutes.

p168: It should be remarked upon that these two goons do not match the description of the ones who were asking questions in Scene 3.

p168: "will not accept surrender" What's this about? If the PCs surrender, the goons'll take hostages to make sure they get out, surely, or just cover them while they make their getaway. It takes a very stone killer (or a psycho) to just eliminate a helpless surrendering foe. They might even take any prisoners to a Boss of the Talent.

G'Varrk's Hotel Room

p168: "a local hotel" should be "this hotel"

p168: What name did he register as? It's in the table, but the ref might like to know as they're reading the text.

p169: "knew her" again.

p169: "3) Two Vargr" would be easier to understand as "Two further Vargr"

p169: "remembers came" - "remembers two men came"

p169: "tonnage in the" - "of"

p169: It should take an accounting check or some such, maybe Trader, to find out how much he's shifting.

p169: How can you tell that he's only one among many? Why would he have any contact with them?

p169: Since when has it been compulsory for traders to state their Jump destination to Starport Control? I think this is the only link to Hansen's World.

p169: The links and motivation for the players to go to Hansen's World require either railroading by the ref or players to go cos that's the place they're meant to go. Very weak. Players with starships will need plenty of incentive to go there.

Act II

p170: "PCs to the" - at? in?

p170: A verbatim quote of the message would be useful.

p170: "follows. A ship" should be "follows: a ship"

p170: the players aren't going to be around for "a few weeks" for random event 86-95 to recur, if they have a ship to run. And it'd look pretty odd if they were.

In general, Hansens's World and its settlements need more exposition. Is the settlement entirely or semi buried? What are the docking/hangar facilities at each Starport (raising/lowering landing pads? Walking tube-ends? ramps to underground complex?)

1A)
p170: A hand out of the local laws/'Incoming Visitor speech' would be nice.

1B)
p171: "consist" - "consists"

p171: "bedrock to" - missing "upon which"

p171: Why vacc suits. The atmosphere needs filtering and prolonged exposure might be best undertaken in something like an NBC suit, but Vacc suits are hardly necessary.

p171: What is the customs terminal?

p171: "other waiting" - "others"

p171: "to others" - delete

p171: surely the "spot" check you're allowed if you have T/Med should be a T/Med check.

A Riot

p171: Note that this is Daria Radison/Melissa Banks

p171: Might be good to provide a check DC to notice her face or the object and make them exclusive unless someone crits or rolls the total of the two DCs.

p171: From the description on p172, the rioters should be chasing the cops in scene 2, not approaching from the other direction as it seems the narrative suggests. The cops should be between Radison and the rioters and she should have to make her escape on her own or with Player help.

p172: Mobs aren't tenacious. 25% casualties will break a professional unit most of the time. 10% is more realistic.

Inquisition

p172: What is the current suspicion that Officer Llowellen is acting under?

p172: It might be worth calling the Colonial police "constables" or something rather than "officer" to distinguish them from the CorpSecs.

p172: witnesses more than suspects of any crime or suspects in any case.

p172: "local bar" again, it's hardly going to be a "far away" bar, is it?

p172: "local colonists" - same

p173: Use the Officers' names.

Skullduggery

p174: colonists that - who

p174: why is the colony overcrowded? The past decade's modest growth will have been absorbed by facilities left abandoned after the boom period... why isn't the overcrowding more of a factor? It could be played up as a feature of the environment.

Woman's Apartment

p173: surely this should be "Daria's Apartment" or "Melissa's Apartment"

p173: "is check" - "checked"

p173 and on: use her name; Melissa or Daria, doesn't matter.

p173: Data points lettered rather than bulleted

p173: do they learn her name?

What happened to Daria Radison? When was she killed? How? By whom? the PCs are going to want to investigate these things. Even if you think they can't find out, you need to say what really happened for the Ref's benefit.

That she trusted Bertran is going to hook the players up with him. He's got local clout; it's going to have an effect. They might even go to the Colonial Police with a matter as weighty as a MoJ agent going missing. Suggested consequences might be explored.

Right. Now I have to poke my nose back into Real Life. I'll finsh my well-intentioned hatchet job tomorrow, maybe.

 

[hunter]

p161: Bertran is no better, stats-wise, than any of the other Company Security. If he can take 24 Raiders on his own, how come they got anywhere against the full complement of Security, plus Colonial Police who are better than him? And how did he (Level 6) manage to take 24 Raiders (also Level 6) on and survive, let alone achieve a losing draw, in T20 combat?
[/qb][/quote]

Cover and concealment are your friend. He didn't survive too well though. Beaten to a pulp before the PCs manage to get to him.

p165: "a signal is broadcast at a specific frequency" should be "a specific code is broadcast on a specific frequency" Just screching on a wide band wil get a response, otherwise.

Six of one half-dozen of the other. These say the same thing.

p165: The charging of storage fees is just nastiness to the players. Berthing fees at standard rate is reasonable.

Ever had your car impounded by the police?

p165: Second Data Point. Drugs? What drugs? Where do the players learn about drugs? It's not usual for interrogators to give away stuff they don't want interrogatees to know. There should be skill checks to find out what the customs boys are after.

Huh? If the PCs are picked up they will be told what they are charged with. I doubt the Imps will simply say 'smuggling' without mentioning what it was they were supposed to be smuggling!

The above aside, this is largely a waste of bits/toner/tree.
First: any party without a ship can't do it.

That might be why the very first part of the Scene mentions what to do if they don't have a ship...

Second: Why would a freighter jettison cargo if they were pursued by pirates? If they did, why wouldn't the pirates just come back later and get it (sensor tech is obviously good enough that this would be a reasonable expectation - the Revenooers did)?
Third: why did the smugglers ditch the cargo anyway? The whole point of having it in official sealed canisters is so the Revenoo can't find it. If that camouflage is of no value, why use it in the first place?

They were about to be busted as mentioned in the Scene. The authorities were after them, so the smugglers assume that the authorities are aware of what they are carrying. They wanted to get rid of the evidence.

As to why they didn't go back and get it, well they ship had been ID'd. Wouldn't be smart to go back to a place where you knew the authorities had just tried to nab you in the same ship. That is why the PCs are being hired to pick it up.

p166: Specifying a "starport bar" is unnecessary. The drugged-out loon is a local on a low-law world. Why would he need to come to startown? Maybe there's a reason, but there needn't be if you don't force it to be at a starport. Add that the security presence inside the extrality line and in this case the Law level will be higher than outside the starport. Also, using "local" all the time is largely extraneous.

So don't put it at the starport. When writing the adventure I chose to base this scene there. This was the bar he hung out at after work (before he lost his job). Hence this is why some of the patrons in the bar know him.

p166: Stats for the locals would be nice too. Gunplay in a bar won't be unusual at this Law Level, and the locals sholdn't just be frightened sheep like they would be on a less self-reliant world.

Low law level does not equal everyone being a 'tough' and carrying weaponry. If this were the case, everyone in the old west here in the US would have gone around armed (contrary to the movies, this WASN'T the case).

p166: The automatic rifle is okay on the stated world, but is going to be tricky to explain on a higher law level world if the ref moves it.

High law levels don't mean that someone can't have access to illegal weaponry.

p166: "first 10 rounds" combat rounds? How much ammo does this guy have? I can't see a drug crazed loon being big on fire discipline. And the players wil be armed with at least sidearms on this world, so if the fight runs 10 rounds I'd be amazed.

No where does it say that the fight will take a definate 10 rounds. It mentiones 10 rounds because that is about how long I figured it would take for most of the patrons to clear out or find suitable cover.

p166: Worth noting that if PCs take unconventional routes (under tables, over booth walls) that they'll not suffer such jostling. Newbie refs are less guided, more constrained by what they read.

I disagree. There will be a lot of people looking to take cover in the same places...

p166: "If PCs use their weapons...in violation of the local Law"? It's LL2!

Yup LL2. Because you can carry it openly doesn't not necessarily mean you can use it openly.

p166: Having the crazy's weapon jam is unecessary if you have him firing 4 round bursts; the clip empties after the 5th round. At this point he can have run out of ammo or simply change clip slowly depending on the needs of the story.

What's the difference? They both have the same effect. I chose to have the gun jam. If you prefer to have him run out of ammo and need to reload, then by all means do so.

p166: Do the brother and sister work at the same place? Where do they work? And is the "sister" actually his "sister-in-law" as mentioned later?

The sister is the sister-in-law. The rest is up to the Referee and not particularly needed to be detailed because it doesn't make one helluva lot of difference.

p166: Why does the man need to write down the name of a famous nightclub? He knows where he met his dealer. Make it some other clue; a flyer, a book of matches. Anything. With a Search DC to find.

You may not, but I make notes like this all the time. Different people have different ways of keeping track of information and details.

p166, and onwards: "the man" has a name. It's worth referring to him in the text by this name once the players find it out (even if they only find it out by earwigging on some local goon going through his stuff.

p167: Do his brother and sister-in-law have names?

p167: Some evidence of his paranoia would be nice. Survival manuals, books on Alien conspiracies, ghosts etc.

The paranoia is due to the drug. His raving mutterings might be a good indication.

p167: Asking the bar patrons might also be a way of finding that Johan went to The Chamber regularly if the players haven't already divined this.

Then again they may not know this if all he does is go there to score his drugs.

p167: There is no Library Data entry for Fuzion. The entry might include some idea of the astrographic extent of the drug's spread.

Was moved to the Referee's Background section. I'll get that fixed.

An abiding theme through all the Udeshasdiin scenes is the intervention (often heavy-handed) of local authority. Some explanation of this is needed because LL2, Govt2 seems like a near-anarchy. Certainly it's comparable to a Wild West town where there's not much Sherrif control. The planet needs some detailing.

Where are all the interventions of local authority? The only real mentions are if the PCs use their weaponry and a mention of an undercover cop at The Chamber working undercover trying to bust drug sales.

p167 Encounter 6: "undercover cop"? Yeah. Right.

p168: "illegal substance"? Precisely what is illegal on a LL2 world?

Just because a Law Level is low, doesn't mean there aren't laws and that they aren't enforced at least occasionaly.

p168: The door. What's the skill for the check?

T/Electronic or Disable Device

p168: It should be remarked upon that these two goons do not match the description of the ones who were asking questions in Scene 3.

That's because they aren't the same goons. See data point 5 in Scene 4.

p168: "will not accept surrender" What's this about? If the PCs surrender, the goons'll take hostages to make sure they get out, surely, or just cover them while they make their getaway. It takes a very stone killer (or a psycho) to just eliminate a helpless surrendering foe. They might even take any prisoners to a Boss of the Talent.

Why would they take they hostage? Particularly if their is no other threat to the goons nearby? As for killing the PCs if they surrender, watch the news sometimes. People can do some pretty nasty things to other people just to do it. These are people involved in the drug trade. The PCs are interfering.

p169: Since when has it been compulsory for traders to state their Jump destination to Starport Control? I think this is the only link to Hansen's World.

So the Imperium controls trade and commerce, but does not require to know what is being shipped and where within it's borders?

p169: The links and motivation for the players to go to Hansen's World require either railroading by the ref or players to go cos that's the place they're meant to go. Very weak. Players with starships will need plenty of incentive to go there.

If they are interested in pursuing the leads they have they will go. Or alternatively the Referee can arrange for a cargo to be picked up or delivered to Hansen's World, allowing the adventure to continue.

p170: A verbatim quote of the message would be useful.

Not really.

p170: the players aren't going to be around for "a few weeks" for random event 86-95 to recur, if they have a ship to run. And it'd look pretty odd if they were.

Depends on your style of play. At any rate you can always have this happen early on. It doesn't say it happens in a few weeks, it says it shouldn't happen more than once every few weeks.

In general, Hansens's World and its settlements need more exposition. Is the settlement entirely or semi buried? What are the docking/hangar facilities at each Starport (raising/lowering landing pads? Walking tube-ends? ramps to underground complex?)

This type of information doesn't necessarily add to the adventure itself.

p171: What is the customs terminal?

The entrance for incoming travellers where they pass through customs?

p171: surely the "spot" check you're allowed if you have T/Med should be a T/Med check.

It's not to hard for anyone without Med skill to spot broken bones and bruises. So it is a spot check rather than a T/Med check.

p171: From the description on p172, the rioters should be chasing the cops in scene 2, not approaching from the other direction as it seems the narrative suggests. The cops should be between Radison and the rioters and she should have to make her escape on her own or with Player help.

The scene at the bar started the riot, but that doesn't mean it hasn't spread.

p172: Mobs aren't tenacious. 25% casualties will break a professional unit most of the time. 10% is more realistic.

Look at how little damage it will take to make any of the rioters break off. It won't take much to get the whole group to run.

p172: What is the current suspicion that Officer Llowellen is acting under?

Looks like some text got cut out somehow.


Hunter

 

[Liam Devlin]

I ran Act I, Cold Fuzion at GenCon 2003.
With only myself, and two CoTI personnel and a T20 Newbie, I took the ooption of "no starship", and allowed for the part 1 [with starship] to have occurred offstage.

My players:
Mark Siefert-IMp Marine Military Police man turned Shamus [Private detective/troubleshooter professional], 33yrs old

Shar_Leigh- A lady Dr [surgeon from Annabapar], 29yrs old.

Wendy-A female Rogue,[neice to the Udeshasdiin NPC I created for the quartet, a former marine, now Rogue/ gangster], Age 23.

NPC-(added)- Gangster uncle, whose sole relative is his neice. AN old fashioned crook, holds no truck with drugs or prostitution in the usual sense of pimping, etc. Self contracting, he's okay with.

And to go with the MIA Imp Agent, her partner,
IMOJ Starburst Marshal Vanya Lashkuun.

As for local flavor, I used the small pop of Udeshasdiin to say, They had the TAS, and four other places of interest in entertainment/ drinking in their downport. Harry, (NPC) gangster, was either sinner or saint depending on who you asked (saint to his neice, of course!).

Now, without starship, how to place all 4 into the plot. Well, in generating up Wendy's PC, she blew a roll in career move term 2 "Information gathering"--And came into the hands of IMOJ SM Lashkuun.
The DR (Shar_Leigh) I tied into this as having had someone in her family/ or known to her having died of addictive substances.
Mark's PC (the PI), had his cousin come home three days ago from Hansen's world, dead from a "vaccuum breach"--and enroute to the cemetery. the driver slewed in the rainy slick street, and the coffin fell out! As did the corpse. It was discovered he'd been used to smuggle in 100kg of vials of the Fuzion drug.
The PI called the Dr for an analysis...
Gvarrk met his untimely end at the hands of the stock shooter, but his wheel man got away (I did it gangster drive by style). The driver turned out to be a Red Talent agent, who escaped.
The Dr was supposed to have met the PI at Harry's nightclub/resturaunt, but wound up going with the ambulance with the one critically wounded man of five gunned down (Gvarrk's vargr astrogator)--and got his dying words- a 9 digit number.
Harry and the PI had a chat about drug smuggling onto this world, and Harry's efforts to keep it out of startown, etc.[to include four men now permenantly part of the two new landing blast berms].
Enter IMOJ, with the neice and a deal- he'll drop charges off her (and avoid her doing 10-15years hard labor for attempting to make a "buy"), if Harry works for him to find out whatever can be known of Cold Fuzion & the assassination of a once two-bit Vargr smuggler, now drug kingpin/ supplier in this subsector.

I did embellish and add some details not included in the adventure, like a second red talent agaent beating up Gvarrk's secretary in his hideaway apartment that the PI surprised in the act of using a rubber hose "chatting" with her. After rescuing her, and shooting the fellow as he leapt off the 4th floor balcony (broke his silly neck), followed up on clues from Dr, Harry, his neice Deidre, with the marshal, and discovered that if Sebastian (whom the PI managed to talk down and capture) had been on the drug for at least a year, and Deidre recently nabbed by SPA undercover cops and thus the recent arrival of the marshal himself..how was this drug getting onto the world without the assiduous efforts of crime lord Harry's to keep that traffic "off his turf"..?
My answer: the SPA chief of security was on the take. In not using the part 1 [with starsip], I made Gvarrk's ship )SS Honest Mistake take a 55 minute unscheduled jink in their approach vector [the 9 digits remember those the Dr got from the dying astrogator?] Speed/ velocity, and vector- a 3 D plot, traced backwards, revealed where Gvarrk had dropped off 2x 25dtn cargo containaers of Cold fuzion..
Believing more and more that the SPA chief was dirty, the PI looked up his credit rating/ bank info..and discovered a man on a salary of 50kcr a year had a credit line of 28Mcr! So they laid a trap..
and caught him, and his accomplices...Hansen's world, and following up on how did Pharmacom lose their formulae, and this drug hit the market in this quadrant, and letters from the dead cousin about "troubles there" set the stage for part II..but our schedules of games and events prevented us from carrying out this part.

I did not think the adventure incomplete-I used stuff from several novels I'd read to "flesh out" gray areas. I chose the "it takes a thief" approach without starship, due to the legacy remaining at end of part III, and, that we had the two competing criminal elements, why not a third-the local criminal-harry, an old fashioned crook, with a protective eye over his planet/ turf?
I told the players after they'd completed Act I of the wee changes I'd added, and they all agreed it worked/ flowed well. All three enjoyed it.

--T20 GM, Gencon 2003 Liam Devlin, After Action review reporting....

 

[womble]

Hi Hunter

Wasn't meaning to start a debate - it's your product, but I'll take your answers as 'licence to attempt to persuade' on some of those particular topics you've addressed.

We'll come back to Bertran in Act IV...

The signal: I respectfully contend that they do not. One is pseudo-scientific handwaving, the other is hard science-based. I know which I prefer in a hard-SF game product.

Storage fees: Yes, I've had my car impounded, but only for actually being naughty. Is the IMoJ so strapped for cash it has to screw it out of innocent citizens?

Scene 1 being largely unnecessary: I was building my case. Add "Firstly" to "secondly" and you have a large proportion of the PC population that either can't do it or wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

...about to be busted...smugglers assume that the authorities are aware...They wanted to get rid of the evidence...

"I draw the court's attention to exhibit 1, a sample of the drug 'Fuzion' discovered in this packing crate, exhibit 2 (which has shipping tags as detailed on the manifest of the accused's ship (exhibit 2a)), and to this 'tape' of the sensor logs of the Customs cutter Vigilance showing the radar tracks of these cargo containers as they were jettisoned by the vessel of which the accused was Captain."

Or can't sensors spot that kind of thing? More Handwavium.

...As to why they didn't go back and get it...

Oh, agreed absolutely. My point was regarding the suitability of the "an innocent freighter ditched cargo to escape pirates" cover story that is being fed to the PCs. It doesn't hold water because it doesn't improve the chances of escape except by being a decoy, and if it works as a decoy there won't be anything there for the players to pick up.

So don't put it at the starport. When writing the adventure I chose to base this scene there.

And by stating that it's a starport bar where it happens, you're railroading it unnecessarily. It doesn't matter whether it's in the Starport or not, so why specify it? It's the kind of encounter a ref can slide in anywhere that it's appropriate a la Chandler ("when things get slow, have a man kick down the door and machine gun the room").

This was the bar he hung out at after work (before he lost his job). Hence this is why some of the patrons in the bar know him.

This is something that might be nice to tell the ref. It adds to the engagement of the NPCs with Johan.

Low law level does not equal everyone being a 'tough' and carrying weaponry.

Perhaps the true colour of Udeshasdiinite law enforcement would be better conveyed if a fuller description of the world were included.

High law levels don't mean that someone can't have access to illegal weaponry.

But it would be a matter of great interest as to just where he might've gotten it from for the players who might also be wanting to lay their grubbies on something similar.

What's the difference? They both have the same effect. I chose to have the gun jam.

The difference is that a jam is a highly unlikely ref-flange, whereas a clip change is a game-mechanistic inevitability. Why fiddle with 'reality' any more than absolutely necessary?

The Pocket Comp: Maybe he would make such a note, especially if it's left over from the first meet and he got the phone number first and arranged to meet the pusher. Okay. Still, it seems like a big info-dump to have all the data the players need given to them in one lump, and there's a risk that they don't get any of it if they either can't get their mitts on the comp or can't crack its security.

The sister is the sister-in-law.

Cool. Just a typo then.

The rest is up to the Referee and not particularly needed to be detailed because it doesn't make one helluva lot of difference.

It would be helpful to new referees to either provide a suggestion as to where they work, or note that they'll likely have to think something up suitable when the players ask. The former being preferable, I reckon.

paranoia is due to the drug. His raving mutterings might be a good indication.

*Confused* I'm not saying otherwise. Some additional (post-mortem) evidence of his paranoia would help solidify the scene, and "aliens in my head" conspiracy theories might foreshadow the entities on Hansen's World.

Then again they may not know this if all he does is go there to score his drugs.

Handy to have an alternative info feed for the players if they miss earlier clues.

Law Level and Intervention: More evidence that a description of conditions on Udeshasdiin would be handy.

That's because they aren't the same goons. See data point 5 in Scene 4.

"Another team" doesn't prove or even initmate that this one isn't "Weasel and Bruiser". It's evident by Scene 5, but a reader could remain somewhat confused and it would be helpful to note it when they're first encountered in the text.

Why would they take they hostage?

They'd take hostages if only one of the PCs got to surrendering: "Back off or we'll kill your mate!".

As for killing the PCs if they surrender, watch the news sometimes. People can do some pretty nasty things to other people just to do it. These are people involved in the drug trade. The PCs are interfering.

Still, the inhumanity to kill a helpless prisoner is rare. People do do bad things. Whether this is a suitable juncture in the story to punish characters for wimping out or getting unlucky is another question.

And on to Hansen's World, skipping some thorny arguments I don't want to have with ya.

This type of information doesn't necessarily add to the adventure itself.

!!?? How can setting not add to an adventure? In this case of hostile environment, the human adaptaion of their shelter to it strikes me as very important. The landing pads are the first thing the PCs see when they're landing/disembarking; first impressions count.

The entrance for incoming travellers where they pass through customs?

But is it a roughly-hewn cave? Laser cut tunnels in rock? Compacted dirt and epoxy stabiliser? A Portakabin? Physical desription would help no end.

Is the settlement a rock warren? Is it mostly natural or all ordered lines and grids? Is it large caverns with freestanding structures/shanty towns on the floor? Does it have many levels (and if it does are they segregated by purpose)? Will there be a map in the final product?

 

[womble]

And on to Act III...

Computer Databanks

This data is also relevant to other Acts and might be better presented as a section at the end with the library data and other supplemental material.

p174: "kiosk available" delete "available"

p174: the Last Roustabout might actually still be here if the PCs are hot on the trail... No need to specify a week.

p175: T/Comp skill check DCs omitted.

Strangers in the Night

I assume these are Raider stats, but it's worth specifying.

What skill and DC is required to get these pirates to squeal?

We interrupt this broadcast

p175: essential - essentially

p176: accused - accusing

p176: would - will

I find it hard to believe that the broadcast station couldn't fabricate a transmitter fault (or whatever) to get him off-air sooner.

A sideline Venture

Using Iggulash's name more would be better.

Air Rafts are worth 300kCr new - surely the pirates would have salvaged this in the time between capture and the players coming by. He's weeks overdue.

p176: anyone the find - they

Mining Shack

p176: setup - set up

p176: the rubbish pile - why dump it behind? Why not where the storms can get it?

p176: 'local' again.

p177: Kuulager's pets. The reader should not have to deduce that these are Krenel Beasts.

p177: Are there any mods to the Library data stat blocks for these Krenel Beasts because they are "relatively weak", or are the Library Data for "weak" KBs. If so, what are the stats for healthy ones?

p177: How come there's no comsat net on this planet? Compared to the cost of setting up a colony, the price of four simple geostationary relay satellites is trivial, especially when the income stream is based on roving gatherers. The base could happily have a satellite receiver that Kuulager puts out when he wants to use the datanet.

TBC...

 

[womble]

And on...

p177: Nicking off with the portable base is a major theft...

p177: Why was Kuulager 6 weeks overdue when he was still at liberty only 2 weeks ago?

p177: Does he have any rough workings or notation of sightings from which he's deduced where the interloper ships have been coming from? It's a bit of a startling conclusion to just come to off the top of his head... Could the players possibly deduce the same thing he did? How big a territory does an atmosphere miner range over? What are the recent storm tracks he'll have been following? Are there any charts of good places where storms kick up extra gunk? What does atmosphere mining actually entail? A special suction device mountable on an Air Raft? A huge processing plant crawling on multiple tracked bogies? Does he not say where the sightings he's made (and eluded) were in his diary? This bit seems to me to be a place where players could potentially, if they ask the right questions and have the right skills, deduce the location of the pirate base themselves, rather than simply an artificially-mysterious tantaliser.

Another thing about satellites: when you're mining the weather, you want good weather pictures, and locational data to guide you to where the satellites say the storms will do the most of whatever it is they do. So there'd definitely be weather satellites and probably a GPS network. Every mining outfit would have a satellite uplink to receive meteorological data.

Unless there's a reason for them not to have. That reason needs to be stated. Or the technique of "let the players come up with the reason" needs to be explained to the ref.

Act IV

Gray Lady Down

p177: "Reach its destination" - why be coy about it? The players will want to know where it's headed, and will be awfully suspicious if their putative despatcher is cagey about it. I can't see any reason for Hasen's lab to be some sort of top secret.

p177: Is the supply vehicle actually a shuttle (the 95T, 3G accln, interplanetary kind)? If so, it might be better to say "on final approach" rather than "3/4 of the way there". And how far are we talking, anyway? Players will want to know. Players will also be worried about how it went down. If M-drives and gravitics are susceptible to birdstrike, then space travel isn't the commonplace thing it's made out to be. Especially when the bird in question is a lighter-than-air floater. Note also that at 95T and 3G a shuttle is actually better equipped for this sort of rescue mission than say a 1G Far Trader or a 2G Scout.

p178: The hull breach and contamination. Why don't the shuttle crew just raise the internal pressure of the hull to slightly over external pressure? This comes down to the not-terribly-nasty-really nature of the atmosphere. Slight positive pressure would ensure that even microleaks would a) not be a danger and b) be detected when extra gas supplies needed to be expended to keep the pressure elevated, so the crew could go to individual protection. The inhabitants of a world like this, especially the ones who have to go out in the muck, would know about simple tricks. I'll be coming back to the atmosphere later.

It'd be less contrived if the crew had been rendered unconscious (or worse) by the impact of the landing. Then it's a race to get there before any potential hull breach leaks enough gunk to kill the shuttle crew.

p178: Orbit - Why orbit? The weather doesn't go to orbit... How long does it take a jet fighter that's not trying too hard to get above the weather?

p178: For the Pilot skill check, it might be approriate to allow bonuses for running at less than the craft's rated Gs and for any maneuvrability score the craft has.

p178: 'Spotting the downed vessel' - Is there not rescue beacon or transponder on the shuttle?

p178: 'some kind of underground facility' - see above. The players should already know what this is. And aren't all facilities underground on this planet? I don't know, the one's we've already been to haven't been described.

p178: 'not listed on any publicly available maps' Nor on the cartography supplied for a rescue attempt, when the facilty might actually be the best hope for safe refuge for the victims of the crash (not to mention where the supplies need to be delivered)?

p178: "Crew of the shuttle...lethal...hide and seek" - How big is the crew of the shuttle? What are their names? The party will likely want to know before they set out. THB says two. Maybe add a stevedore, though with grav handling, is that really necessary when carrying resupply for (as far as I can tell) one?

p179: Since there are only two crew, the remaining crewman is murderously psychotic (evidence the airlock) and about to die anyway.

Field research lab

p179: Director Hasen's isolation - So he hasn't even got a phone? See previous points about satellites. How would he call for help if he needed it? I know pioneers have to rely on themselves, but he's a lab researcher dependent on external supply runs. How does he let them know to bring extra mayonnaise cos he's been eating a lot of salads lately?

p179: possible - possibly

p179: draw into - drawn

p179: of enzymes - missing 'the'

p179: "director...willing...discuss...lifeforms...Just asking the right questions" - how do the players know to ask any kind of question at all? Or is the 'right question' "So, Director Hasen, what are you studying out here?"?

p179: Why is Hasen surprised that no one knew about the life forms? Who had he told?

p179: confront the director - About what? The lifeforms don't seem to be any more sapient than a domesticated meat animal. They don't know about the riots.

p179: 'there is not enough spare oxygen tanks' - either 'there are not enough spare oxygen tanks' or 'there is not enough spare oxygen left in the tanks'

p179: And why not? The thing's got an endurance of a month in interplanetary space. Better reason for being unable to stay in the shuttle is the vulnerability of the rescue craft.

I know this is only a suggestion, but why make it so contrived? There's still the groceries to deliver.

Slave/Times
Now, I came into this assuming it ran pretty much straight on from scenes 1 and 2 (possibly 5 as well). I guess it might happen after a bit of a hiatus, but then you have to deal with Hasen bearding Persus in his den pre-fruit-loop-city.

p180: 'warming engines...waiting spacecraft' - huh? I thought the players were the only show in town? Maybe there's just an 'a' missing ('...towards a waiting spacecraft...'). Shuttles plural?

p180: Bertran, Corpsec and The Colonial Police. - Leaving aside Bertran's superheroism for a moment, what's happened to the non-Raider Corpsec and the Colonial Police? Is the colony a warzone as raiders and Police fight for the lives of the Colonists? How many Raiders are there? How many Police? How many Corpsecs and of those how many will follow Persus's orders, how many will follow Corvos and how many will do the 'right thing'?

I still think Bertran wouldn't have been taken alive.

Since Persus's declaration of Martial Law is an obvious sign of insanity, I'd've thought the Police would be working alongside the Colonists, and largely letting Corpsec take care of defending corporate assets (to which they owe no more duty than any of the rest of the colony). What are the rioters doing? Is it independent vs. company employee? Wanton property damage? Mobs marching on corporate properties? Have they heard about the slavers at the spaceport? How are they doing against organised but not well motivated (relatively speaking) heavies (Scene 5 implies they might be able to stand up for themselves)? If it's an underground complex, containing rioting should be relatively simple; a matter of closing off doors and vertical access.

Most of all it seems a shame to have spent nearly a page on the Colonial police, earlier, then to relegate them to an off-screen presence.

p180: turn them off - turned

p180: as the try - they

p180: "a number of security robots" - how many? Stats? It'd be interesting to put some other trace of this operation into the adventure somewhere. A rumour maybe. Persus doesn't have the skills to prep these for combat himself or to conceal them (short of locking them in a room no one else is allowed in - which might make a rumour of itself). Without any other trace in the rest of the tale, they're a bit of a deus ex machina. And they definitely need stats.

p180: Environmental control - Given the stated nature of the atmosphere, the environment plant will be filters and CO2 scrubbers, and fans. Nothing complicated. The only things Persus will have control of will be the fans and any routing devices or valves in the ducting. I'd imagine the whole complex is kept at a slight positive pressure relative to outside and it's the gradual loss of this pressure diffrerence that will allow the gunk in through poorly-maintained seals.

p181: Battlefield repair is THB p168. Note that by taking 10 a talented engineer can potentially fix the system in three minutes, or by taking 20 a journeyman engineer can probably fix the system in 6 or so hours.

p181: Data points - what skill checks/DC are required? Paranoiacs don't leave their computer systems unsecured.

p181: "bult and staffed...was built..." - clumsy English

p181: "fairly easy" - Skill? DC? Bonuses for using known names and other data?

p181 'past and flight' - past what? Or delete 'and'.

p181 "pirate's own members" - "pirate gang's own members" or "pirates' own members". Prefer the former. Could delete 'own'.

p181: take to much - too

p181: scaled - scale

p181: 'their labour in the form of forced labour' - clumsy; 'their forced labour' would be better, or 'their labour, though forced'.

p181: and plan to - and the pirates plan to

p181: notice and intruders - any

p181: ship's - ships

p181: prepping the ships for launch - can delete 'the ships'.

p182: former. now - former, now

p182: help in solving the murder - what murder? How solved? Yes, I know it's Daria Radison, but that whole subplot appears to have vanished without trace. Yes, her disappearance is probably solved, but her murderer and the whereabouts of her remains are unknown.

p182: 'Destroy the Fuzion Lab' - surely this should be the maximum for neutralising the lab and erturning it to the colony. Destroying it should receive a lesser award.

p182: Discover the psionic ability of the lifeforms
- seems a bit rich to reward the party just for having a psionic with the right feats...

p183: The atmosphere - This is a huge hole in this plot. Why not say it's tainted with handwavium? This description needs to change because it is inconsistent with the description of its effects and the measures (vac suits) stated in the adventure text as necessary. The physiological effects of high levels of carbon dioxide are well known and any hallucinations the hyperventilation it causes might stimulate are rapidly succeeded by unconsciousness. High levels of S02 are a respiratory irritant and will lead to elevated levels of sulphur-based acids in the precipitation and any water-damp substrates. The levels can't be much higher than C21st/C19th smog or the atmosphere would be rated insidious.

Simple fibrous and charcoal filters and a soda scrubber will protect the metabolism from this atmosphere (and its organic components, which I'll grant could be the cause of hallucinations). Goggles will stop the eyes stinging and oilskins will keep the clag from collecting on your gear. No need at all for vac suits, therefore no or little potential for lethal respiratory equipment failures, or any need for a minor hull leak to lead to the deaths of a shuttle crew. "Emergency procedure: In the event of a crash, don filter masks immediately...". Without scrubbers, the violent paranoiacs induced by the organic component of the atmosphere are going to be mostly unconscious on the ground, not trying to kill anyone. Will the organic poisons kill anyway, once the visions start? How quickly?

Since the dolorous nature of getting exposed is central to the story, I'd suggest that the organic soup might have a contact effect, with a very low dosage required, so even the slightest brush can cause problems. Even then, NBC-level precautions (which deal with just that kind of threat level) ought to be adequate. Allows equipment failure to be lethal though.

p184: Population - it'd be useful for the ref to have a nice little table of population occupations. Mixing "a little more than half" with percentages in the same sentence is just confusing.

p184: 'Little to no visibility...kill you' - Clumsy sentence and kill should be killing.

p184: "...a literal biochemist's goldmine..." - No it isn't. it's not even "literally a biochemist's goldmine". There's no gold involved and the pickiness of the biochemist about his interpretation of language is irrelevant. (There's an irony here - I did Biochemistry at college...

p185: "...foot the bill..." - tense is wrong, and 'footed' is messy; 'picked up'?

p185: immigrate - emigrate

p185: Many chose...elsewhere - redundant given previous sentence.

p185: colonist tried - colonists

p185: 'Much to the fear of the colonists..." is not English.

p185: '...company...and...colonists as well.' - delete 'as well'.

p185: large floating multi-colored - large, floating, multi-coloured

p186: Are the gasbags sapient? More than pigs? Will people care that they're the price to pay for mining the gas, any more than fisherfolk seem to care that they net dolphins in C21st? Should they?

p186: egg laid - delete laid.

p186: the bit about psionics and bonding is confusing. Do only the psionic ones bond? Or does the psionic bond have qualities that the non-psionic one does not?

p187: Imperial Trade Cluster wasn't established in 998... 992? 993?

p188: companies - company's

Rumours

p188: '...can often be obtained in a number of ways...' - 'often' is recundant.

p188: Rumour E - which is true, the suit breach bit or the slavers, or both?

p188: Rumour I - Two recents

p188: 'friend of down' - 'hers' missing.

p189: 'curfew is any' - 'if'

p189: Rumour T - True/False?