My First Alien - Need feedback

[mad13142000]

The Vruon

The planet Vruon (Knoelligz 1504) is the homeworld of the Vruon. They name themselves the
Edilvor, but are commonly known by the name of thier planet.

The race evolved from chaser omninores along the coastal grasslands. Their world is a low gravity one, about .6 Gs. They are carbon-based, and
closely resemble Terran reptiles. Several travellers have nicknamed them 'Dog-zards'. A very artistic race, they now exist on several planets in the Dzighkafe subsector of the Knoellighz sector.
They are slightly tall bipeds with bilateral symmetry. Average height is around 5'9", and they belie thier low-g heritage with a rather heavy
build. Average weight is around 120 pounds. They have a thin layer of blubber under thier scaly skin. A standard upright build, they have two
legs, two arms, and no tail. Thier legs end in an elephant-like pad. Thier arms end in hands with a thumb opposed by 3 fingers. A dog-like snout is lined with small, very sharp teeth. They have remarkable hearing and voicing, able to extend well into both infra and ultra ranges. Pain
threshold is low, yet they possess a catfall ability thanks to excellent kinesthetics ability. Human average senses of touch and taste are
augmented by a good sense of smell - a discriminatory scent like a dog's.
Due to the Edilvor's extreme sense of animal empathy, the race has become vegitarian, though not rabidly so (ie: K'kree). They still have a
troop or pack like social structure that exists near the top of the food chain. There are 2 sexes, that generate several children in a live birth. Sex plays an important role in society, and only dominant members of the
pack are able to reproduce. Lifespan is similar in length to humaniti.
Possessing a hyperactive metabolism, they eat quite a bit. They do have a G-intolerance do to thier homeworld, yet move very quickly in thier
native environment. Most are very good swimmers.
The race is highly intelligent, with built in Psionic resistance, and a natural, intuitive mathematical ability. Thier normal imagination is
offset by an easily distractable, intense curiosity. Most are very gregarious, and quite charitable even to other races. A chauvinistic
streak keeps them slightly apart from other races, and most are very reserved and collected when around foreign races.
Racial Averages
Strength: 8
Dexterity: 13
Constitution: 12
Agility: 13
Intelligence:10


I've never written an Alien description before...
too scientific? not enough? I need to finish off my Knoellighz sector so I can get it posted...
later
-MADDog

 

[JeffSandmeier]

You should include a bit more as far as physical description. What color are their eyes? Are they scaled, have hair, feathers? What color range is their covering (whatever it is)? Helps when describing them to the PC's, if you have it written down ahead of time, instead of relying on memory.

 

[vegascat]

We definately need to know what they look like. Skin, scales, fur, crunchy knobs, coloration variations?
What kind of tech do they have, use, produce?
Are they artistic?
What will interest traders? Buy? Sell?

How do they react to stress?
Religious beliefs?
Political system, factions?
Are they zenophobes?

YOu gave a good start, but left us wanting more.

 

[trader jim]

and last but not least....do they drink COFFEE JUICE??????

 

[pauldrye]

Let's see...

Vegetarian: I see two possible issues here, neither irresolvable.

First, with pointy teeth they have been carnivores until very recently; animals that evolved for eating only plants have flat, blocky teeth for grinding, while omnivores have both.

So it would seem that the Vruon have switched to vegetarianism in no more than the past few thousand years. I would suggest that their "animal empathy" be a cultural attribute rather than an intrinsic thing. They're rather like Terran jains, and avoid eating animals because it's "wrong" in their culture.

This then leads to the question of how they actually digest the food. Herbivores are specially adapted internally as well, as plant food isn't rich in energy. Carnivores aren't. This seems at odds with their hyperactive natures. Where are they getting their energy?

A good example is the panda bear, which is a carnivore recently adapted to herbivory. When someone sat down to figure out how much time they'd have to spend eating bamboo, the initial figure was something like 28 hours a day....As it is, they spend something like 20 hours a day sticking bamboo sprouts in the front end and getting rid of it from the back end.

I would suggest that the Vruon vegetation is rich in energy (which would mean they probably couldn't live on veggies from other worlds), or else that they're frugivores instead, like lemurs.

Bipedality: Why did they evolve to stand up? It's quite a rare adaptation, usually only appearing when the front set of legs are hijacked to use as another form of locomotion: flying in birds and bats, and brachiation (tree-swinging) in the monkeys and apes. Once you free up the arms, then you can start using their end bits as hands.

 

[Falkayn]

Originally posted by Paul_Drye:
Vegetarian: I see two possible issues here, neither irresolvable.

First, with pointy teeth they have been carnivores until very recently; animals that evolved for eating only plants have flat, blocky teeth for grinding, while omnivores have both.

As to this, you might want to note that herbivorous dinosaurs frequently had fearsomely pointy teeth, that were tolerably well designed for the type of plants they are suppose to have eaten.

AFAIK, it is a misconception that herbivores must have flat grinding teeth.

 

[Paul Drye]

Originally posted by Falkayn:
As to this, you might want to note that herbivorous dinosaurs frequently had fearsomely pointy teeth, that were tolerably well designed for the type of plants they are suppose to have eaten.

Once grasses evolved, there were virtually none -- the silica most of them pick up makes grinding a necessity. This is another reason you'd need the plants of the world to be unusual. And even the "pointy" ones from before were rounded cones with not much in the way of points.

You be the judge:

Bagaceratops tooth
Ankylosaur teeth
Camarasaurus tooth
Diplodocus tooth
Several teeth in a hadrosaur jaw

Cheers,
Paul Drye

 

[Ran Targas]

The shape of herbivorous dinosaur teeth were highly dependent on the food the dinosaur ate.

Sauropods like the Brachiosaurs had peg-like teeth for raking vegetation into their mouths; they did not chew but instead, like chickens, used stones in their gizzards to pulverize the vegetation.

Triceratops teeth were conical but fit together like zipper teeth to mash food.

Duckbills had flat teeth for grinding.

Generally, dinosaurs did not have specialized teeth, that is a mammalian trait. No incisors, canines, molars; all the teeth in a dino's head were shaped identically. The only exception I know of is Heterodontosaurus, that had three types of teeth in its head (so unique a feature as to affect its naming).

 

[mad13142000]

Before this spins out of control...
I rolled up the sharp teeth. I didn't know how they were going until I caught a glimpse of an intelligent 'Dog-zard' In my mind's eye. So they do have Scales over a blubber layer. They do have a snout and ears like a dog, and are actually warm-blooded. The eyes would be slotted, like a cats', and of varying colors, primarily towards the blue end of the spectrum. I can't find my original writeup, but I seem to remember that they had varying coloration that helped in determining rank within society (not quite casting). I rolled up the Vegetarianism seperately, and found I liked the idea of a race with a high level of empathy deciding not to eat other animals. As far as minor stuff, They are a progressive, peaceable species that live in their 3 world expanse surrounded by the Vargr. The shopkeepers tend to live at their place of business. They consider triangular shaped food taboo, something to do with religion...
They come from the world Vruon (A569856-9). It is located at 1504 in the Dzighkafe (B) subsector of the Knoellighz Sector. The other 2 planets are Puvruon (1403) B374659-8 and Liger (1404) B89A463-7. The area is interesting. There are 3 Corsair bands within J-1 of the 2 colony worlds. There is also a Vargr Naval Base within J-1 of the homeworld. Although the Edilvor (vruon race name) maintain a single destroyer squadron, they rely on good relations with the Vargr Navy to keep the corsairs at bay.
The main exports are Pharmaceuticals, Information, and Agro products. The main system is a trinary star, and there are good resources. A tech 9 means they also produce common, durable goods for trade. Not very artistic, they are mostly know for their incredible number crunching ability.

-MADDog

 

[pauldrye]

Originally posted by MADDog:
So they do have Scales over a blubber layer. They do have a snout and ears like a dog, and are actually warm-blooded.

Not much point in having blubber if you're not warm-blooded

The eyes would be slotted, like a cats'

That's a sign of nocturnal evolution. Slitted pupils are a way of increasing the range of light intensity one can see across.

 

[JeffSandmeier]

Blubber is not just for warmbloods. It is simply one way of storing energy over the long haul. Granted, non-warmblooded creatures generally don't need the ability, but that doesn't mean they can't.

As far as slitted eyes, they could be for vision across a greater range of the spectrum, couldn't they? Just because that's the way Terran animals work, doesn't mean that that's the way it works across the universe.

 

[Paul Drye]

Originally posted by AaronKohura:
Blubber is not just for warmbloods. It is simply one way of storing energy over the long haul. Granted, non-warmblooded creatures generally don't need the ability, but that doesn't mean they can't.

No, blubber is a particular arrangement of fat under the skin for the purpose of keeping an animal warm. That's the definition of the word. Otherwise, it's just "fat". They don't call a camel's hump "blubber", or the fat hibernating animals accumulate before winter.

As far as slitted eyes, they could be for vision across a greater range of the spectrum, couldn't they? Just because that's the way Terran animals work, doesn't mean that that's the way it works across the universe.

It's still got to follow the laws of physics. The size of a pupil has very little to do with the wavelengths of light perceived. Pupils are on the order of a centimeter across. Visible wavelengths are tens of thousands of times smaller than that; they're dictated by the reaction energies of chemicals in the retina.

What else would a variably sized hole at the front of an eye be used for besides varying the amount of light that gets in?

 

[mad13142000]

No, definitely blubber - They live on a chilly planet.

World: Vruon (3rd planet of 8 around a G5V primary)
Coordinates: 1504 (B0704)
Dzighkafe Subsector / Knoellighz sector
UWP: A569856-9-B65
Vruon Homeworld
Population: 430 million

This is the homeworld of the Vruon. They name themselves the Edilvor, but
are commonly known by the name of thier planet. An early space-faring
race, they maintain several colonies. Vargr worlds currently prohibit
further expansion.

Physical Data:
Diameter: 5400 miles (8640km)
Density: 5.17 (.94 Earth) <Molten Core>
World Mass: 0.23 Earth
Gravity: 0.588 G
Orbital Period: 203.037 Standard days
Rotation Period: 6.586 Standard hours
Axial Tilt: 50 degrees
Surface Atmospheric Pressure: 1.38 Atm.
Water Percentage: 93%
No major continents, 9 major archipelagoes.

Base Equitorial temperate is 20 degrees Celsius
dropping to -30 at the poles...Everything from 40 degrees on is frozen tundra and glacier...

Political Data
10 Primary Cities:
Feo Nommi
Gorem
Gitan
Roviwemi
Vomis Wemo
Kupib Dovo
Tamgiswommo
Met Nommi
Govbesph
Mif Nommi
14 Major Cities
5 Moderate Cities
5040 Small Cities
5600 Towns
All major cities possess a class A starport except Met Nommi (C) and
Tamgiswommo (D).

This system contains a second habitable world, Arvruon. Arvruon(G333465-8)
is the second planet in the system. It, unlike Vruon, has moons (2).
Arvruon has a population of 40,696. Being close to the primary means the
average temperature is 150 degrees F. The settlement is domed, with a
Class G spaceport. Terraforming has not occurred yet in the system.

The system is a Trinary system with 2 M V companions - orbit 10 and 15. The closer has 2 planets, and the far companion has 4 planets...


-MADDog