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Causes of death in the traveller universe...

T

The Thing

SOC-13
OK, this thread ( http://www.travellerrpg.com/CotI/Discuss/showthread.php?t=14391 ) gave me the germ of an idea that won't go away until I inflict it on other people, so here goes.

Pick a location in the traveller universe, then make up causes of death in it. Try to be funny.


Capitol:

Calling Vargr spacefarers "doggies": 278
Caught painting mustaches on pictures of "Uncle cleon": 23
Insulting swordworlder: 15
Swordworlder bringing sword to gunfight: 1,305
Trying to sell fleas spray to vargr while calling it perfume: 91
Ine Givar terrorism: 201
Claiming Ine Givar is an imperial invention to justify oppression: 23,106
Trying to sneak into Aslan hotels and leaving boxes of kitty litter as a joke: 8.
 
Terminal stupidities:
Asphyxiation due to failure to dog the hatch.
Strangulation due to failure to dog the hatch.
Evisceration for telling the vargr to dog the hatch.
Attempting rishthraka with a K'Kree.
 
deniable said:
Now we need the Traveller Darwin Awards. Bubba the belter yelled "Hey, watch this" and promptly blew himself through a bulkhead.
Click to expand...

Jojo died of bloodloss from copulation with a malfunctioning iris valve...
 
Welding a silencer on to a shotgun.

(Happened in game during High School -

Player: I want to silence my shotgun.

Me: It's a shotgun, they don't work with silencers.

Player: But silencers are listed in the book! Of course it would work!

Me: The book says that they only work on pistols, not shotguns.

Player: But I could weld a silencer on the shotgun! I've got Mechanical-1 and all the tools I'd need!

Me: It'll endanger your character and those around him if you do.

Player: You just don't like it that I've outsmarted you as Referee!

Me: OK, if you insist, then go ahead.

Sure enough, during the first combat encounter afterwards, the guy fired his silenced shotgun and it blew up in his character's face. And sure enough, he claimed that I was deliberately trying to kill his character because he had outsmarted me by welding a silencer on to a shotgun.)
 
Vland. Ate the local food.

Airlock. Caught in backblast from own FGMP.

Kirur. Lassoed a K'kree and tried to saddle it up to ride to town.
 
Jeff M. Hopper said:
Welding a silencer on to a shotgun.

(Happened in game during High School -

Player: I want to silence my shotgun.

Me: It's a shotgun, they don't work with silencers.

Player: But silencers are listed in the book! Of course it would work!

Me: The book says that they only work on pistols, not shotguns.

Player: But I could weld a silencer on the shotgun! I've got Mechanical-1 and all the tools I'd need!

Me: It'll endanger your character and those around him if you do.

Player: You just don't like it that I've outsmarted you as Referee!

Me: OK, if you insist, then go ahead.

Sure enough, during the first combat encounter afterwards, the guy fired his silenced shotgun and it blew up in his character's face. And sure enough, he claimed that I was deliberately trying to kill his character because he had outsmarted me by welding a silencer on to a shotgun.)
Click to expand...

If he wanted a silent shotgun, he needed to use a gauss shotgun set to subsonic...
 
The Thing said:
How about the guy who tried to make a vaccsuit out of duct tape and a pair of goggles?
Click to expand...

I'm picturing this shiny black goggle-eyed mummy stiff-legging it into an airlock with a tank full of fresh air under his arm.

Actually, with enough duct tape it would be better than nothing - I'd be inclined to double his survival time to about 30 secs just for the amusement value.
Of course, if he did manage to survive, he'd have to make an Endurance roll to rip all that tape back off...
 
Icosahedron said:
I'm picturing this shiny black goggle-eyed mummy stiff-legging it into an airlock with a tank full of fresh air under his arm.

Actually, with enough duct tape it would be better than nothing - I'd be inclined to double his survival time to about 30 secs just for the amusement value.
Of course, if he did manage to survive, he'd have to make an Endurance roll to rip all that tape back off...
Click to expand...

Uh, how about a keg instead of a tank? :rofl:
 
Better still. :)
Now I'm picturing a wooden keg, sealed with the ubiquitous duct tape, and a high-pressure hose attached...

It's funny and original enough to give the guy a fighting chance IMTU, scientifically credible or not.
 
Icosahedron said:
I'm picturing this shiny black goggle-eyed mummy stiff-legging it into an airlock with a tank full of fresh air under his arm.

Actually, with enough duct tape it would be better than nothing - I'd be inclined to double his survival time to about 30 secs just for the amusement value.
Of course, if he did manage to survive, he'd have to make an Endurance roll to rip all that tape back off...
Click to expand...


Wow, you're a really sadistic little crawler, aren't you? ;)
 
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