Humor in Traveller

[The Thing]

Some people have accused traveller of being humorless, and have gone so far to say that traveller players have no sense of humor about the game.

Ok, I thought we could bring up some traveller humor to offset this opinion.

So if you've had funny situations come up in traveller, or used funny lines in it, post 'em.

I have a line I'm going to use the next time I run a traveller game.

Me, as GM to players on a new planet: "The atmosphere smells as if the planet created it by farting a lot."

 

[Jeff M. Hopper]

Some people have accused traveller of being humorless, and have gone so far to say that traveller players have no sense of humor about the game.

Kindly direct those who think the above to the wonderful comedies written by Larsen E. Whipsnade, also known as Bill Cameron.

Also have them research the history of everyone's favorite weapons moppet, Ditzie and the near-parody corporation Astroburgers.

Then theer is the comic created by the guy who did Thrud the Barbarian called "The Travellers".

 

[Andrew Boulton]

http://www.2000ad.org/markus/travellers/

 

[Rover]

So if you've had funny situations come up in traveller, or used funny lines in it, post 'em.

While travelling on a chartered ship, the party became suspicious of the crew. We decided it was better safe that sorry and we had an armed takeover of the ship.

After all the shooting was over we realized we were wrong about the captain and he was no threat to us. Several of the party were worried we would face a hanging or some such penalty for mutiny. I had to reassure them with, "Its not mutiny, it's piracy, we weren't part of the crew." I had to repeat that several times as the distinction was lost on the party.

R

 

[Ishmael]

a crack crew of a 400dt SDB (higgins? or elco ...doesn't matter, eh? )
the captain has run-ins with the base CO over regs
the crew is your typical player group trying to get booze, chicks and run schemes to make money and create mayhem to combat boredom without getting caught and sent to brig
They have a Vargr cook who can't be caught unless he wants to be executed
The young second in command is a hopeless failure but incredibly lucky
Sometimes, they actually have to go out and fight

McHale's SDB

 

[Gadrin]

Scene: a room containing two characters, a Merchant and a Mercenary; and also 3 dead bodies. A pair of medics are removing one of the bodies as the two watch.

Merchant: Well, at least we made it past chargen.

 

[pendragonman]

a crack crew of a 400dt SDB (higgins? or elco ...doesn't matter, eh? )
t

Doesn't matter? Like the difference between a 77 foot Elco or 80 foot Elco doesn't matter.

Nice way to describe an SDB.

And Gad, what is the difference between a player character Merchant and a player character Mercenary? After all, the short form of both could be Merc

 

[Gadrin]

And Gad, what is the difference between a player character Merchant and a player character Mercenary? After all, the short form of both could be Merc

Book 1, p45.

 

[aramis]

Yes, humor in traveller is long standing... but often subtle.

Just look at the Traveller's Digest rules for scout brew...

 

[Chaos]

A long time ago... the characters just stopped their ground car and are about to get out, as a helicopter appears above them, and they hear police sirens approaching.

One of the characters looks at the one who had been driving, and says: "Wow. Is this a No-Parking Zone or something?"

 

[Andrew Boulton]

Vargr: "Rip out their guts and take everything of value!"

Me: "I think you'll find internal organs are not legal tender on most worlds."

 

[Gallowglacht]

I always loved the fact that the RCES refered to human captives of Virus as "dave"s. (after the character in 2001)...

"Dave, I still have complete confidence and enthusiasm in the mission" was the quote used as the players watched pieces of their starship streak through the atmosphere of a hostile planet they were still raiding...

2001 being a very popular film in the RC...

Or the joke about the painfully slow lyrebird missiles...
Star Viking 1; "don't worry I called in an airstike to take out that tank"
ST 2 looks around, checks his watch, looks up "Liar..."

The Orriflamme military, annoyed at pointless RC regulations responded to the regulation that RC combat equipment should be named after animals (like the lyrebird missile instead of the 'flammer built "nail", by calling their combat helicopter the "thunderchicken".

Heavy battledress was the "Sumo-Samurai suit"...

The immobilised Virus ship that feel in love with a sun and sang love songs to it, confusing the population of the world orbit that sun...

Tne had quite a lot of humour and personality built in. Most people didn't like it in the Hiver-Ithiklur book though...

 

[flykiller]

human player character hurriedly making up plans on the fly, takes hand of female vargr npc: "She will travel with me as my wife. That will be our cover story."

referee: "Uh ... one wonders just how much it covers."

 

[The Thing]

A scout who had a habit of picking up souvenirs from his missions returns to his base after a run to find the place has really been torn up badly. There are buckled and ruptured hull sections, weapon damage to the walls and corridors, shattered gear strewn around, the works.

As he climbs out of his Sulieman he sees several people waiting for him. He asks "What the hell happened here while I was gone?!"

One of the base crew walks up to him and says "Remember that 'really neat rock' you picked up on Mathis 6 a while back? Well, while you were out, it hatched! "

 

[Icosahedron]

LOL with that hatching rock, Thing.

Here's a couple of extracts from my current PBEM:

Conversation involving passenger npcs Ken Stitch and Kenneth Cotton at the breakfast buffet:
Ken: Are you getting your oats sir?
Kenneth: I'll bet you are sir.
Ken: I'd say you have quite an appetite for it.
Kenneth: Appetite for it! (gives a broad wink)
Ken: They say hard work gives you an appetite, sir.
Kenneth: Have you been hard at it sir?
Ken: I'm sure you have sir. Oohh!
Kenneth: Oohh!

Or, a scene in the corridor:
You see an old woman bounding along the corridor, wearing a swimsuit, carpet slippers and a stocking mask with cutout eyeholes that have laddered. She is brandishing a whip that appears to be made from a knitting needle and strands of cooked spaghetti.
As she reaches you, she aims a kung fu kick at knee height, misses, topples over and scrambles past you on her knees before dashing away down the corridor.
There is a piece of spaghetti on the floor; it smells faintly of bolognese sauce...

 

[The Thing]

Or, a scene in the corridor:
You see an old woman bounding along the corridor, wearing a swimsuit, carpet slippers and a stocking mask with cutout eyeholes that have laddered. She is brandishing a whip that appears to be made from a knitting needle and strands of cooked spaghetti.
As she reaches you, she aims a kung fu kick at knee height, misses, topples over and scrambles past you on her knees before dashing away down the corridor.
There is a piece of spaghetti on the floor; it smells faintly of bolognese sauce...

Oooooh Ghawwwwwd.

Thanks for that image. May I have your home address so I can send you the bills for the therapy sessions I'm going to need?

 

[Gallowglacht]

In one game I ran, the players got into a space combat, it quickly became clear that they outclassed the oponent who offered to surrender. The 2 ships cautiously approached each other and docked. The 2 crews could see each other through the airlocks. The Captain of the surrendering ship had himself and his honour guard in dress uniform and obviously had his sword ready to officialy hand over his command in a dignified fashion.

Of course the player Captain see the sword and slips into a D&D/Warhammer 40K mindset and shouts out that the enemy are trying to board and grabs at his pistol, his second in command sees what is really happening and tries to wrestle the gun out of the Captains hand. The surrendering crew see this and decide surrender to these psychos is probably not in their best interest, un dock and try to get away/lock on weapons.
The next game hour was spent trying to convince the surrendering ship that it was all a misunderstanding and they weren't going to execute them...

 

[navywarlord]

One game I ran a while back had a group conducting a raid to recover munitions stolen from their patron. The group was well armed with gauss weapons and a single PGMP-12, provided by the patron, to overpower to opposition. The thieves were employed by the resident "wizard" on a nearby low tech world, who lived in your typical castle and was planning to use these munitions to maintain his power onworld. While the wizard had a few guards trained in hi tech weapons, the bulk employed swords, crossbows and various low tech weapons.

The intial landing and assault goes off without a hitch and the group begins searching the castle rooms for the munitions, only to be continuously harrassed and ambushed by the low tech guards. After one particularly nasty ambush while entering a room, the group decides that the next room they enter will be preceded by a blast from their PGMP-12 through the wooden door.... Unfortunately, the next room they hit is the castle storeroom - the one with the stolen munitions.....

Player 1: We need to teach these guys a lesson. Shoot through the door.
Player 2 (plasma armed): Sure this will be ok?
Player 1: Sure - what could possibly go wrong?
(plasma fires)

The remain players at the ship see the resulting explosion and decide to leave, with the hindsight that using a plasma weapon to find stolen munitions may not have been a great idea.....

 

[BlackBat242]

Similar to the Tournament game I was in, in a Con in LA back in ~1987/88... "invisible" beings had invaded a research station that was in a powered orbit around a black hole (the 2-G engines in the station were keeping it in a stable orbit by running continuously at 1-G).

The party (less 2 left to guard the scout they came in) was chasing the baddies, and cornered them in the powerplant/maneuver drive control room.

At this point, some clone decided to kill the baddies with a random burst of frag rounds from his RAM-grenade launcher, fired blindly through the door of the control room.

The only survivers were the two who were at the scout, since one was a pilot and the ship had been left powered up "just in case".



Black holes suck!

 

[Gadrin]

Similar to the Tournament game I was in, in a Con in LA back in ~1987/88... "invisible" beings had invaded a research station that was in a powered orbit around a black hole (the 2-G engines in the station were keeping it in a stable orbit by running continuously at 1-G).

The party (less 2 left to guard the scout they came in) was chasing the baddies, and cornered them in the powerplant/maneuver drive control room.

At this point, some clone decided to kill the baddies with a random burst of frag rounds from his RAM-grenade launcher, fired blindly through the door of the control room.

The only survivers were the two who were at the scout, since one was a pilot and the ship had been left powered up "just in case".

so did you ever find out who these invisible beings were ?

strange, I've introduced my fair share of "questionable items" either being technology or wild scenarios, but I guess I've always held back from being too unreal.

it amazes me just how far some people go, though (such as a post on these Boards about the Trek Enterprise showing up in the TU).