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IYTU: "How many does it take?"

K

Keklas Rekobah

SOC-14 1K
IYTU: How many Avatars, Aslan, Barbarians, Citizens, Clerics, Clones, Corsairs, Cyborgs, Darrians, Droyne, Hivers, Imperials, K'kree, Mages, Marines, Mercenaries, Merchants, Navy Personel, Netrunners, Paladins, Psionicists, Rangers, Rebels, Robots, Rogues, Scouts, Slavers, Smugglers, Soldiers, Solomani, Troubleshooters, Undead, Vargr, Vegans, Vilani, Warriors, Zhodani or whatever does it take to change a broken illumination module?

:D
 
Round two
To get in the mood check out round one here:

Lightbulb Jokes
 
Oh, crud.

Well then. There simply are not enough 'Light Bulb' jokes, so let's try to re-start the thread with original material!

Q: How many Navy Personel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just wait until the ship changes heading or rotates far enough for light to come through the nearest porthole.
 
So, lame and spontaneous as it is I'll play along ...

How many Barbarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

<Barbarian, failing his Technophobia check> "AHHHH! Magic demon light!" <draws sword and attacks lamp>
 
Q: How many fans of 'Lord of the Rings' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Take it away! The light... it HURTS us! TAKE IT AWAYYYYY!!!

Yes, precious, those nasty hobbitses are tricksie with their lights. We must kills them... kills them all...
 
How many Arses does it take to change a light bulb?

Fourteen.

Two to crew one of the Original Twelve ships to try to trade for the light bulb, four more to rescue them, five to mount a smash-and-grab to get at the cache of TL-15 light bulbs underneath some TEDs palace, one Centrist to complain about how much more efficient this would all be under a feudal technocracy, one Federalist to call him a TED wannabe, one Schialli to get fed up and change the lightbulb, and one brooding philosopher to stare at the lightbulb and Hope It Was Worth It to bring a little light back into the Wilds.

(Apologies to those who haven't read Path of Tears and are currently staring at their monitors with a puzzled expression.)
 
Originally posted by David Elrick:
Q. How many Imperial Marines does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None. They're not afraid of the dark.
Click to expand...
I thoght it was 3?
One to change it and two to guard his back (Semper Fidelis)
file_23.gif
 
Originally posted by ChaserCaffey:
How many Arses does it take to change a light bulb?

Fourteen.

Two to crew one of the Original Twelve ships to try to trade for the light bulb, four more to rescue them, five to mount a smash-and-grab to get at the cache of TL-15 light bulbs underneath some TEDs palace, one Centrist to complain about how much more efficient this would all be under a feudal technocracy, one Federalist to call him a TED wannabe, one Schialli to get fed up and change the lightbulb, and one brooding philosopher to stare at the lightbulb and Hope It Was Worth It to bring a little light back into the Wilds.

(Apologies to those who haven't read Path of Tears and are currently staring at their monitors with a puzzled expression.)
Click to expand...
You forgot the Hiver who wanted the lightbulb changed in the first place and set this all up.
 
It occurs to me that we never see about half of the posters from the original "to pick" :D
toast.gif
anymore...
 
I asked the question of a tour guide at Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository.
The actual answer was "Over 40 people".
Here is the "Official breakdown of what it takes manpowerwise to get a single lightbulb changed.

1 clerk to fill out the requisition.
8 supervisors to review the request and pass it up the chain to someone who can make a funding decision.
6 clerks in finance to fund the expenditure.
3 scientists to do an environmental impact survey.
2 safety inspectors to ensure proper procedures.
1 truck driver to deliver the light bulb.
2 gate guards to let the truck onto the grounds.
3 handlers to down load the truck.
4 recieving clerks to account for the light bulb.
2 warehouse managers to store the lightbulb until it is found available to install.
3 men to operate the lift platform.
6 men to maintain the lift platform.
1 supervisor to watch the worker screw the bulb in place.
1 person to screw the bulb into the socket.

That is how the place really does operate. I thought the military was bad until I visited that overpriced hole in the ground.
 
IMTU?

Q: How many Matriarchate clan-members do you need to replace a light bulb?
A: None, their vision is probably bio-augmented anyway.

Q: How many Ael Yael do you need to replace a light bulb?
A: Nine: one to replace the bulb, four to beat up the corporate engineer who's built in such a shoddy way it and four to kick the butt of the corporate agent who's broken it.

Q: How many Solar Triumvirate government officials do you need to replace a light bulb?
A: One hundred: Ten to form an Investigative Comitee to investigate the circumstances of it's breaking; Twenty to fill the supply forms needed to get a replacement; one to actually replace the light bulb; four to oversee the operation; and 65 to appear on media and blame the Alliance and/or the Matriarchate for it's breaking, regardless of what the Investigative Comitee finds out.
 
Q: How many Traveller Canonista does it take to replace a lightbulb.

A: Initially the question will require clairification of what rule set was used to create the lightbulb. The debate will rage for weeks and eventually be so far off topic and heated that someone leaves the forums in anger and no one is sure why. In the end all will agree not to replace the lightbulb, no matter how much they agree it is broken, because it is the original lightbulb and therefore the best lightbulb for the job.
file_22.gif
 
"I asked the question of a tour guide at Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository."

...which probably glows in the dark so doesn't actually need lightbulbs...
 
Q: How Many Grognards does it take to change a Lightbulb?


A: None. The original Bulb was good enough then, its good enough now, darnit!


:rofl: :rofl: :smirk:
 
Q:How many MT/Rebellion heads does it take to change a light bulb?

A: [By Faction]

Antares/Brzk -- Three. One to appear indecisive and stall the Lucan Emperor's envoy; one to Negotiate the lightbulb from the Julian League's stocks of same; and one to install the bulb.

Margaret's Faction --None. We have plenty of bulbs in reserve! Why we'll even clone one for you! Sign here please..Or sell you oone from our Hiver friends to Trailing!

Daibei-Craig -- Two. One to declare that "The lightbulb going out was the direct result of The insane war going on"; and one to "federate" the former Imperial Lightbulbs prior to installation.

Solomani Confederation-- Sends message to all Fleet commanders "Attack before they change the lightbulb!"

Iilelish/Dulinor --None. Dulinor trots out Tredek Jurisor and he shoots himself for taking the blame for the lightbulb going out, and says we'll go on in darkness anyway.

Vargr Corsair "Alliance" --None. Why? Having destroyed 2 depots full of lightbulbs in Lishun and Corridor, can see well enough in the flames from the resulting pillaging not to give a whit about changing the bulbs.

Gushmege/Strephon's Faction Three. Sends One person across Reft sector to Marches with location of all the spare lightbulbs; one person to deny there are any Lightbulbs left here; and one to quit arguing why the lightbulb went out.

Domain of Deneb/ Norris -- Three. One to co-opt the ihatei Aslan to quit breaking lightbubs in Tobia and lower Marches & Deneb; One to order immediate rationing of all lightbulbs; and one to go out and promise "We'll leave the light on for you."

Lucan's Imperium --Nine. One to blame each of the other 8 factions for shoddy workmanship, disloyalty, lightbulb sabotage, and general mischief; and One to invent an AI Virus that will take care of lightbulbs on and off switches forever.
 
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