The Hinterworlds Rambler
SOC-14 5K
WARNING! CRTITIQUE BELOW! NOTHING PERSONAL!
(sorry, It's SOP Disclaimer)
The Jewish Preacher bit stings. Too Callous. People will react negatively. This is not to spark a religious debate, but there should be no mention of Romans or Jesus, even indirectly. It sounds silly, but Romans in the first tagline could be misinterpreted.
In some Areas (particulary the description of Nobles, what?) it is a little confining and prmotes a TOO pre-concieved notion of certain things. The use of the term "vegan" to describe K'Kree is promotion of a word not yet recognized as being anything more than a social affectation
(just dont say it to a Vegan)and is not exactly accurate, as it imples that they do not Hunt...
Also, the use of specific names and dates can lead to zzzz for exhibition. Think not on how cool the Intro to Lynch's DUNE is, but how many people didn't understand it. For a rediculously extreme example, watch the beginning of Chronicles Of Riddick. Ten minutes of Necromongers, etc...
(sorry, It's SOP Disclaimer)
The Jewish Preacher bit stings. Too Callous. People will react negatively. This is not to spark a religious debate, but there should be no mention of Romans or Jesus, even indirectly. It sounds silly, but Romans in the first tagline could be misinterpreted.
In some Areas (particulary the description of Nobles, what?) it is a little confining and prmotes a TOO pre-concieved notion of certain things. The use of the term "vegan" to describe K'Kree is promotion of a word not yet recognized as being anything more than a social affectation
(just dont say it to a Vegan)and is not exactly accurate, as it imples that they do not Hunt...
Also, the use of specific names and dates can lead to zzzz for exhibition. Think not on how cool the Intro to Lynch's DUNE is, but how many people didn't understand it. For a rediculously extreme example, watch the beginning of Chronicles Of Riddick. Ten minutes of Necromongers, etc...