I wonder if a captain cracks open a booklet on his office desk, and reads; "Congradulations on your acquisition of a brand new Sylean Class battleship. One of the top vessels in its class...."
Starship owner's manual.
- Thread starter Blue Ghost
- Start date
Shadowrunner
SOC-12
I love the idea, but it would be a hologram with pause button and 3D printer I think...
Rigel Stardin
SOC-13
And the Forward to the Manual would go like this: "if all else fails, read instructions..."
"Chapter 142: the Waste Recycling System ..."
Lycanorukke
SOC-13
More likely using todays 'manuals' as a base....
* It would be written in a dialect of High Vilani, badly translated from Angelic by a blind Gveg Vargr.
* Twenty pages would say things like "Flying ship into sun may cause injury or death and void your warranty"
* The support number listed would connect you to a Zhondani Pizza parlor.
* Everything would be labeled with "No user serviceable parts inside"
Enoki
SOC-14 1K
Either he gets a pile of manuals equal to two sets of the Encyclopedia Britanica or he gets the on computer equivalent....
Been there done that. Took Senior Enlisted Engineering Management School and went through Nuclear Power School with the US Navy. I learned "Where's the manual?" is the first question to ask when trying to operate or fix anything on a ship.
You try memorizing the equivalent of a set of encyclopedias sometime! The Navy made me do it more than once.....
Now, as to quality:
They could be the German version: These are nice and glossy, very thick, have dozens of drawings and parts lists, and say things like You VILL DO THIS PROCEEDURE BY THE MANUAL! Step 1, familiarize yourself with the system and proceedure....
Or they could be the British version: Disassemble the equipment. Replace worn or defective parts. Reassembly is obverse of disassembly. A hand drawn sketch is provided. The manual is printed on high grade toilet paper....
Or, the Italian version: Manual?! We don't need no stinkin' manual!
Or, the US version: Consult with an engineer and lawyer to untangle the bureaucratic nonsense it is written in. The drawings make sense only to the insane.....
Been there done that. Took Senior Enlisted Engineering Management School and went through Nuclear Power School with the US Navy. I learned "Where's the manual?" is the first question to ask when trying to operate or fix anything on a ship.
You try memorizing the equivalent of a set of encyclopedias sometime! The Navy made me do it more than once.....
Now, as to quality:
They could be the German version: These are nice and glossy, very thick, have dozens of drawings and parts lists, and say things like You VILL DO THIS PROCEEDURE BY THE MANUAL! Step 1, familiarize yourself with the system and proceedure....
Or they could be the British version: Disassemble the equipment. Replace worn or defective parts. Reassembly is obverse of disassembly. A hand drawn sketch is provided. The manual is printed on high grade toilet paper....
Or, the Italian version: Manual?! We don't need no stinkin' manual!
Or, the US version: Consult with an engineer and lawyer to untangle the bureaucratic nonsense it is written in. The drawings make sense only to the insane.....
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madmike
SOC-12
Or the support number directly connects you to a Zhodani call centre and the support tech, vladsepr, knows EXACTLY what you are ringing about before you state the problem.
The problem at hand is thus resolved by pressing two blue reset buttons simultaneously whilst the black globe generator is powered up and the hanger bay is depressurised.
The problem at hand is thus resolved by pressing two blue reset buttons simultaneously whilst the black globe generator is powered up and the hanger bay is depressurised.
Ah, the Zhodani.
I can see it now, outsourcing Imperial call centre jobs over the border to those damned Zhodani call centers. Sure they have thick accents, but once you get past that they really are wonderful at fixing the problem. :devil:
And it is that level of efficiency that makes me love them so.
I can see it now, outsourcing Imperial call centre jobs over the border to those damned Zhodani call centers. Sure they have thick accents, but once you get past that they really are wonderful at fixing the problem. :devil:
How could he possibly know that? Even if he is telepathic, his powers only allow him to read minds a few times per day. If this happens to be one of those times, he still has to read your mind for a while before he learns all the details.
Psi powers are severely limited in the TU.
Hans
far-trader
SOC-14 10K
That's an easy answer Hans, the Zho call center is staffed entirely with Special talents, call it Trouble Precog...
...however their precognitive ability is limited in that it only works for exactly this kind of situation
I'm surprised you didn't question the physical limits of Traveller communication speed and the underlying impossibility of calling up a Zho help line from anywhere
It's just a bit of fun
...however their precognitive ability is limited in that it only works for exactly this kind of situation
I'm surprised you didn't question the physical limits of Traveller communication speed and the underlying impossibility of calling up a Zho help line from anywhere
It's just a bit of fun
call center
In system, PSI support would only be for critical, tier 3 support calls. It only requires 11,000 -22,000 specialist, tier 3 staff members, assuming their allowed to sleep, for an Imperium environment.
I see it now:
A concerned captain saying "...Jim your name is Jim? Your a Zho right? Are you reading a script? You don't understand. Again, my computer is saying I'm past 10AUs and it has entered into an auto jump sequence! I did not even order the auto jump sequence"
call center support replies "Sir the computer is always right. You must have miss loaded your jump table update.
You're about to tell me that you've just entered low orbit for a starport landing. We have locations across a 13 parsec jump hex pattern. I see your OnStar and Traveller's insurance is up to date for your missjump coverage.
Now your going to tell me this is Traveller not Paranoia. I'm not sure i understand that reference, sir. Would you be willing to take a short survey. Have a nice day."
In system, PSI support would only be for critical, tier 3 support calls. It only requires 11,000 -22,000 specialist, tier 3 staff members, assuming their allowed to sleep, for an Imperium environment.
I see it now:
A concerned captain saying "...Jim your name is Jim? Your a Zho right? Are you reading a script? You don't understand. Again, my computer is saying I'm past 10AUs and it has entered into an auto jump sequence! I did not even order the auto jump sequence"
call center support replies "Sir the computer is always right. You must have miss loaded your jump table update.
You're about to tell me that you've just entered low orbit for a starport landing. We have locations across a 13 parsec jump hex pattern. I see your OnStar and Traveller's insurance is up to date for your missjump coverage.
Now your going to tell me this is Traveller not Paranoia. I'm not sure i understand that reference, sir. Would you be willing to take a short survey. Have a nice day."
pendragonman
Absent Friends Margrave
"Now your going to tell me this is Traveller not Paranoia."
I LOVE THAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
Seriously, next clone please.
I LOVE THAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
Seriously, next clone please.
I'm surprised you didn't question the physical limits of Traveller communication speed and the underlying impossibility of calling up a Zho help line from anywhere
Let's just say that I encounter mistaken beliefs about the collective abilities of Zhodani psi adepts much oftener than I encounter mistaken beliefs about interstellar communication times. The communication part was obviously a joke; the awesome ubiquity of Zhodani mindreading might have been seriously meant.
Hans
madmike
SOC-12
No ansibles or FTL comms in Traveller....so.....
Please stand by, your current wait time in the support line x-boat relay queue is 9 weeks and 5 days standard. Please hold....
If you prefer to leave your com number, ships registration number and/or Traveller's Aid Society membership number at the tone, our friendly support staff will contact you via x-boat data squirt once you progress through the queue.
Please stand by, your current wait time in the support line x-boat relay queue is 9 weeks and 5 days standard. Please hold....
If you prefer to leave your com number, ships registration number and/or Traveller's Aid Society membership number at the tone, our friendly support staff will contact you via x-boat data squirt once you progress through the queue.
madmike
SOC-12
Rigel Stardin
SOC-13
Back to our call center:
Outside the fact you have to wait for the X-boat to deliever your question about your problem. Our Tech support center is located on a world where a strict code of conduct is addheared to by the local population concerning your qwery into the operation of your ship. Please make sure your question are phrased correctly so we can asnwer your question.
Question: "You mention a software update for the astronav that will prevent the ship from jumping after travelling 10 AU. Where do I get the update?"
Answer: "I'm sorry but we can't answer that question due to the fact your computer is not covered by our service. You will have to contact the software provider since your problem seems to be with software and not hardware."
Response: "You built the $#&*^)$( the ship! How the heck do I know, who installed the software! Clearly it was your company that did it! All I want to know is where to get the Update!"
Their Response: "If you are unhappy with our response to your question, I will put you in contact with another department which may resolve this issue...
40 years later...
Outside the fact you have to wait for the X-boat to deliever your question about your problem. Our Tech support center is located on a world where a strict code of conduct is addheared to by the local population concerning your qwery into the operation of your ship. Please make sure your question are phrased correctly so we can asnwer your question.
Question: "You mention a software update for the astronav that will prevent the ship from jumping after travelling 10 AU. Where do I get the update?"
Answer: "I'm sorry but we can't answer that question due to the fact your computer is not covered by our service. You will have to contact the software provider since your problem seems to be with software and not hardware."
Response: "You built the $#&*^)$( the ship! How the heck do I know, who installed the software! Clearly it was your company that did it! All I want to know is where to get the Update!"
Their Response: "If you are unhappy with our response to your question, I will put you in contact with another department which may resolve this issue...
40 years later...
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Enoki
SOC-14 1K
Thick accented male voice: "Allo! My name is Peggy...."
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