I'm a poor player too. I believe it's because I've been a referee for too damn long.
I can't stop worrying about metagaming. I can't stop worrying if I'm playing my character as my character. I start to question everything I do and then it all goes recursive.
I don't argue with the referee, I don't blame the dice, I don't pull out the books, and I don't grouse at the other players but I can't shake the feeling I'm playing at playing instead of simply playing.
Because I can't stop seeing the man behind the curtain or, more accurately, thinking that I can see the man behind the curtain - I can't stop second guessing myself: "Am I doing this because my character would? Or because I think it's what the referee wants/needs my character to do? Or... or... or... or..."
It all collapses into paralysis by analysis instead of just being fun.
I can't stop worrying about metagaming. I can't stop worrying if I'm playing my character as my character. I start to question everything I do and then it all goes recursive.
I don't argue with the referee, I don't blame the dice, I don't pull out the books, and I don't grouse at the other players but I can't shake the feeling I'm playing at playing instead of simply playing.
Because I can't stop seeing the man behind the curtain or, more accurately, thinking that I can see the man behind the curtain - I can't stop second guessing myself: "Am I doing this because my character would? Or because I think it's what the referee wants/needs my character to do? Or... or... or... or..."
It all collapses into paralysis by analysis instead of just being fun.