The way I have have always figured it is similar to Blue Ghost's take: the docked ship has the extra life support and living space for it's own crew so they can live there while the ship is docked.
To use the consular ship example, the fighter crews (and the security team from the Marines) all live in the carrier's quarters. The crew of the Herald courier lives on the courier, but can always leave and wander around the carrier, but their beds are in the courier.
Now carriers like this tend to have much larger cargo bays than I usually have on other ships so that extra life support supplies can be carried to help with the load. I figure about 1/4 of what would be needed (1 ton) per stateroom (on both the the carrier and carried ship) would be sufficient. So for this example it comes out to 70 tons for the extra supplies (filters, scrubber supplies, food, toilet paper, etc.). Some of that can be taken from the mothership, some from the carried ship. That leaves between these two ships 140 tons of cargo space for regular cargo, training space for the Marines, elephants for barbarian dignitaries, and whatnot.
For things like small craft that doesn't have living quarters that are always used even while docked, the carrier has all the room needed for the crews. Like today, the pilots don't sleep in the F-18's.
Here is another example of this sort of thing IMTU:
Murmansk-class Scout Support Tender (type SD) TL-15
40,000 ton close structure w/ scoops and fuel purifier (High Guard design)
Jump Drive (5) Jump-5
Maneuver Drive (1) 1-G (Agility 0 / Emergency agility 1)
Power Plant (5) (energy=2000)
Fuel = 22,000 tons Cargo = 850 tons
Computer = Model 6fib (CPU-15/ Storage-35)
Vehicles = 2 Shuttles
2 Cutters / 2 extra modules (typically 2 passenger and 2 cargo)
100 ton Assembly / Maintenance Deck
Docking facilities for: 15, 100 ton type S & S(b) Scoutships
10, 150 ton type S(k) Scoutships
Crew: (126 Staterooms - includes extra facilities for entertainment and scout crews)
>Command<
Captain
XO/2nd Pilot
Pilot
Navigator
2 Medical Officers
Communications
>Engineering<
1 Chief Engineer
50 Ratings
>Flight<
4 Small Craft Pilots
4 Small Craft Nav/Gunners
60 Ground Crew
Medical Facilities include 4 Autodocs (16 total capacity) and 5 Emergency Low Berths
The Type SD (Scout Tender) Murmansk-class is designed to provide a mobile support base for scoutships operating throughout the Terran Empire. The ship carries enough supplies and has the facilities to repair and maintain scout ships of all 3 classes, and also acts as a transport to carry the shorter ranged scouts rapidly to areas where they are to be deployed.
The vessels are considered fleet tenders and not armed, but since they carry up to 25 scouts and are not considered a warship of the line they don’t need to be. The ships carry entertainment and relaxation facilities for the scout crews, and are available for use by “detached” scouts on a limited, first-come basis.
Ships in class include Murmansk, Portsmouth, New Bedford, Nantucket