Liam Devlin
SOC-14 5K
Fritz 88
Suggestion:
Perhaps "grieviously", "critically" or some such insertion and drop the "nearly fatally" entirely. A shorter fix would be to say "near fatal wound".
Other than that, excellent work.

I like the write up, but feel compelled to say that being "nearly fatally wounded" is like saying she's only "a little bit pregnant".In his 11th year of work (and his final year of parole), his original patron's family was kidnapped by terrorists. Through connections and means both noble and nefarious, Michael rescued the wife and daughter of his boss. In the process of hand-to-hand combat, he was nearly fatally wounded when a breaching charge was detonated against his chest (leaving a huge scar).

Suggestion:
Perhaps "grieviously", "critically" or some such insertion and drop the "nearly fatally" entirely. A shorter fix would be to say "near fatal wound".
Other than that, excellent work.


