Vilani jokes

[Vargas]

"How many Vilani does it take to change a light bulb?"

"Well in the days of the Ziru Sirka, if the Shadow Emperor called for a light bulb to be changed, a thousand committees would spring up to study the problem, a thousand more would carefully craft the finest of solutions and a veritable army of ruthlessly certified light bulb installers would stroll to the task lest they miss something in their carefully controlled and properly approved exuberance!"

(Yes, it's a variation on a joke from a certain genre TV show . . . )

 

[atpollard]

I'm so sorry! Please accept my most abject apologies. I just googled up a Vilani word generator, generated two score words, and strung them together.

If I had taken the time to translate something into your actual Vilani, the joke would have been a two-liner at the very most. Or possible a knock knock joke.

Hans

No problem.
It didn't take that long to figure out that it was just random jibberish.

It just points out the reality if people start posting long messages in Vilani or Klingon or any other made-up language.

[It was a pretty funny joke on your part to respond by posting in Vilani.]

 

[McPerth]

"How many Vilani does it take to change a light bulb?"

"Well in the days of the Ziru Sirka, if the Shadow Emperor called for a light bulb to be changed, a thousand committees would spring up to study the problem, a thousand more would carefully craft the finest of solutions and a veritable army of ruthlessly certified light bulb installers would stroll to the task lest they miss something in their carefully controlled and properly approved exuberance!"

(Yes, it's a variation on a joke from a certain genre TV show . . . )

See that if that happened to Solomani people, the bulb would be obsolete whn decision was taken. And people wonders why the Vilani TLs advanced so slowly...

 

[simonh]

Another Solomani joke.

A group of friends are travelling together and rent an apartment in a hotel. Four of them are playing cards until very late and telling jokes about the Solomani Party and how stupid the whole Solomani movement is, but the fifth is trying to get some sleep. Eventually the one trying to sleep gets fed up. He goes out briefly, saying he's going to check when breakfast is served, but actualy goes to reception and orders room service and asks for a drink to be brought up in 30 minutes time. When he gets back he goes back to bed for 25 minutes, then gets up and goes over to a heating vent in the wall.

"Friend agent monitor, please ask room service to send me a drink", then he goes back to bed. 5 minutes later the drink arrives. His friends are shocked and break up the game and go to bed.

In the morning, the fellow who played the joke on his friends gets up a little late, but when he gets to breakfast none of his companions are to be found. He goes to receptions and asks after them. The rceptionist say "Oh, they were arrested by SolSec for sedition when they came down for breakfast."

Shocked, he asks how come he wasn't arrested. "Apparently, the Solsec agent monitor liked your joke, he thought it was very funny."

EDIT: Of course, I can't claim originality for many of these jokes. Most of them are old Russiona soviet era jokes. The ones aimed at bureaucratic foolishness I aim at the Villani and the ones about the oppressive police state I re-task as Solomani jokes. The one completely original joke was the one about hand grenade warnings.

Simon Hibbs