You know it's going to be a long week in JumpSpace when...

[Spinward Scout]

.

You know it's going to be a long week in JumpSpace when, as soon as you Jump, your Vargr Navigator leans over and says:

How do YOU know when it's going to be a long week in JumpSpace?​

.

 

[Fritz_Brown]

... You realize that your new steward stocked the larder with nothing but chili and refried beans.

"But I thought you said you liked chili, Captain? Captain?"

 

[aramis]

The eerily normal looking Steward, Mr. Grande, starts looking at the crew and drooling rather than the freezer when pondering what to make for dinner.

inside joke- disturbing explanation in sblock.

Spoiler:

Mr Grande was one of PNewman's characters who was, by random luck on the dice, from a world that practices cannibalism of the already dead... he purchased a few dead bodies on Aramis, at the start of one of my runs of the Traveller Adventure... the rest of the crew, including "Dread Pirate" Quint, who was the skipper, and was QUITE upset...

 

[Carlobrand]

You sit down at the helm, enter your password, and the computer responds, "Password not accepted. Call me AM."

 

[sabredog]

When you open the liquor cabinet and find only cobwebs and dust.

 

[Fritz_Brown]

When the captain of the ship onto which you have just hired breaks out his bagpipes in the common area - that he has never played before.

 

[epicenter00]

"Okay, we're off! Wait, I don't see a signature for the receipt of our cargo. Who signed for it?"

"I thought you did, captain."

"I didn't. Wait...did we even load the cargo before taking off?"

 

[Enoki]

You discover that the quaint little resturant you ate at just before leaving has given you the worst case of Montazuma's Revenge ever.....

 

[ShapeShifter]

When the in-flight movie is Sex in the City.

 

[Rigel Stardin]

Finding out that a rival captain has exchanged all your holovids for ones staring a purple dinosaur...

 

[aramis]

You check the computer for jump duration, and it reads only "unable to mount /."

 

[Selandia]

Somewhere in district 268...

-You booked middle passage? Did that mistake the first time. Long week, nothing to do except eating, and nothing to eat except nutrient powder looking like toothpaste taken at a distributor.

=Should I upgrade to High?

- Did that mistake the second time, a week frozen meals brought by a steward. Now I use luxury liners.

=So those have real food?

- Yes in Regina sub-sector. Here in 268, it is still frozen diner.

= Then why book luxury?

- Because on luxury liners, the microwave oven work!

Selandia

 

[Enoki]

When the in-flight movie is Sex in the City.

I could tolerate that. Momma Mia... with Abba... I'd rather be water boarded the whole 7 days....

 

[Enoki]

Somewhere in district 268...

-You booked middle passage? Did that mistake the first time. Long week, nothing to do except eating, and nothing to eat except nutrient powder looking like toothpaste taken at a distributor.

=Should I upgrade to High?

- Did that mistake the second time, a week frozen meals brought by a steward. Now I use luxury liners.

=So those have real food?

- Yes in Regina sub-sector. Here in 268, it is still frozen diner.

= Then why book luxury?

- Because on luxury liners, the microwave oven work!

Selandia

Hey, it's better than the equivalent of a out-of-date MRE at each meal....

 

[saundby]

*sniff sniff*
"Hey, did you make sure they changed out the filters and cleaned the ducts on the air system maintenance? I could swear I still smell that Rigellian's food from last jump. And your sweaty socks."

"Air system maintenance? I thought you were taking care of that."

 

[Icosahedron]

When the crew of the ship you just signed on start stripping off their shirts, and the Captain says, "Guess what we do for hazing around here?"

 

[VonPickles]

When your budget seats don't have visual entertainment, you turn on the audio and the only channel available is "George W Bush reads Lord of the Rings"

 

[shadowcat20]

Your Female Aslan purser goes into heat, and there are no male Aslans on board....

Your passenger list is split half and half between Marine and Navy recruits....

Your shipboard printer cartridge runs dry and there is no spare on day 1...

Your ships cat mistook the air return grid for a litter box.....

Your ships cook is hispanic and you are carring a cargo of fresh peppers.....

You are carring a herd of live dairy cows and the crew has to milk them every day.....

And the air filtration system goes down on day 2 with the cows......

 

[Enoki]

*sniff sniff*
"Hey, did you make sure they changed out the filters and cleaned the ducts on the air system maintenance? I could swear I still smell that Rigellian's food from last jump. And your sweaty socks."

"Air system maintenance? I thought you were taking care of that."

It could be worse.... The engineer comes by the bridge and asks "Did somebody clean the air filters today? I was going to get all that green slime off but it seems to be gone...."

An hour or so later you find out where it crawled off to.....

 

[Gray Pennell]

When ALL the ships computers are infected by ⌧ spam