This is me kind of trying to talk through the issues about writing prose about ship combat.
Ship combat in and of itself doesn't seem that engaging, unless it ties in with the experiences of the people in those ships. Otherwise, it's just two tin cans shooting at each other in space.
Right? Or am I missing something?
Completely right.
I mean, isn't this also the concern with ship combat rules as well? The rules tend to reduce to tin cans shooting at one another, with maybe the Gunners being the ones to make any sort of actions... and those actions are typically just reduced to rolling dice rather than making any meaningful decision.
BUT I DIGRESS, because I don't want to talk about combat RULES. I want to talk about WRITING prose around ship combat.
I think invariably this means that the combat part of ship combat is almost background -- it's nowhere near as important as what's happening to the characters going through the event, what's happening to them, and what they're saying, thinking, feeling, and doing.
Any thoughts here?
If you don't already have this book, I enthusiastically recommend it:
Techniques of the Selling Writer, by Dwight V. Swain.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/techniques-of-the-selling-writer-dwight-v-swain/1103673635?ean=9780806111919
This book gives you the vital foundation you need for writing any kind of fiction.
Some pearls of wisdom among many:
The reader experiences the story through the emotions it inspires in him. Make the reader feel.
Events matter only because of their effects on a character. Make the reader care / be interested in what happens to the character, even if the reader doesn't like the character.
Use a focal character to orient the reader to the events. He is the lens through which the reader sees the story and the perspective through which the reader experiences it. How the focal character reacts and feels tells the reader how to react and feel. Example: A ship explodes. Does the focal character thrust his fist in the air with a triumphant roar, or does he smash his fist against his control panel howling in anguished grief?
Make the reader feel through sensory impressions. Describe events in sensory impressions. Use all the senses. The actinic flash of the particle beam impact, the concussive blast slamming the hero like a giant fist, the cold clammy sweat in his vacc suit, the shriek of the shearing bulkhead, the acrid stink of burning electronics mixed with the obscene stench of roasted flesh.
Use the most specific adjectives, nouns and verbs you can. Consider the difference between these words: Animal, predator, feline, tiger, sabretooth tiger. Search for the right word to inspire the feeling you want. Don't say, "The blue flash..." say "The incandescent beryl flash..." Don't say "The steward poured the wine", say "The steward charged the long-stemmed crystal glasses with a rich Pysadian vintage." or even "The steward slopped a carafe of sour posca into the battered Navy-issue tankards."
Always present events sequentially. Realistically, the hero could draw his snub pistol from its holster while yelling "They're pirates!" at the same time, but the written word is sequential. Present events in this sequence: thought/feeling, involuntary response, deliberate action, speech.
Example: Eneri remembered those numbers; they were the unit designation of the customs team found dead and stripped two months ago. His mouth went dry. The sallow-faced impostors fanned out while their hard-eyed leader raised his hand with a smirk. Eneri jerked his illegal full-auto snub pistol from its holster. "They're pirates!"
Write in pairs of motivation-reaction, or stimulus and response.
Stimulus: Eneri remembered the numbers.
Response: His mouth went dry.
Stimulus: The sallow-faced impostors fanned out.
Response: Eneri jerked his pistol from its holster. "They're pirates!"
or
Stimulus: Despite the scuffs and abrasions, Eneri could still make out the unit designations on the customs team's battered combat armor.
Response: Eneri remembered those numbers (thought); they were the unit designations of the customs team found dead and stripped two months ago. His mouth went dry (involuntary reaction).
Stimulus: The sallow-faced impostors fanned out.
Response: Eneri jerked his pistol from its holster (deliberate action). "They're pirates! (speech)."
The book calls these pairs of stimulus and response motivation-reaction units.
Later chapters discuss how to build conflict, pace tension, and all the other techniques you'll need to write a compelling piece of prose.
I also recommend these books:
Creating Story People, by Dwight V. Swain
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-characters-dwight-v-swain/1113127005?ean=9780806139180
Anatomy of a Story, by John Truby. This book is a truly excellent tutorial on plotting and story structure. This book lays bare all the techniques that the masters use, with examples from Star Wars, Harry Potter, and many others.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/anatomy-of-story-john-truby/1100196082?ean=9780865479937#/