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The Pakkrat

The Pakkrat

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Traveller5: It’s like doing advanced calculus while on fire!


Sound the alarm! You’re gonna be FTL!


Missiles! You’ll fire so many missiles! 400 MISSILES!


Give Traveller5 to your Relict Clones and they’ll be FTL FOREVER!


Margaret: “What about my noble patent?”


MANSPLAIN IT!


When the Imperium fails you, you ASSASSINATE THE EMPEROR!


Capital Ship Derby! It’s a sport you’ll have to invent because you’ll be too Traveller5 for Zhodani Psionic Olympics!


“Help me! Ancients uplifted my dog.” When Ancients take your puppy, you FIND A NEW DOG! CORSAIRBURGERS! The Flamebroiled Death!


Traveller5: it’s like toothbrushing WITH CHAINSAWS!


Traveller5 comes in all-new flavors such as PLASMA, FUSION, and ANTIMATTERRRRR!!


“My Tech Level is too low.”


SINGULARITY!


“Houston, we have lift-off.”


UNACCEPTABLE!


K’kree! You’ll eat so much K’kree that even Hivers be manipulatin’ like, “Slowww dowwwnnnnn....” And your URZAENG VARGR will will say, “BITE ME!” And he’ll eat Hiver cakes for dessert!


Mis-jumps! 400 PARSECS!

Traveller5: It’s like a supernova diarrhea for your brain.


Grognards: “Where’s mah dice?” Traveller5 has dice so large it FLATTENS ENTIRE WORLDS!!


You’ll have Skills. CHUCK NORRIS SKILLS! You’ll be so old that you can co-pilot for CHUCK NORRIS! ARCHDUKE NORRIS!!!


Strephon: “Nya-Nyaaah! Missed me!”


DULINOR! You’ll be so Traveller5, you’ll stand up to a RAGING HARVESTER COMBINE!!!


Cymbeline! When the chips are down, you MAKE A NEW VIRUS!


Empress Wave: not something done in a stadium, jackass


Brzk: “What about me and my blue collar?” JULIAN PROTECTORATE! Bringing the au jus


Vilani: “I don’t understand Traveller5.”


HANDWAVE IT! RULE-0 FOREVER!!


This aren’t your grandma’s vanilla wafers. These are DECIDER WAFERS!!


Traveller5: It makes even Vargr VARGGRRRRR!


Meson Gun Bays, Meson Gun Main, Meson Gun Spine...DEEP MESON GUNS!


Turn your car into the DEATH STARRR!


With Friends Like These...


“Pakk, how would you stat yourself in Traveller5?”


JJJJJJ-JJ, because real Traveller5 is NC-17!


Warning: Traveller5 minors found will be given a Red Bull and a puppy and sent back to their parents.


“Susie, put down the Urzaeng Vargr, honey.”


You want Uplifted Minotaurs? CATTLE DRESS!


Sword Worlders: The Original 1977 Starbarians!


Drives? Traveller5 has Drives: Power Plant Drive, Collector Drive, HEPlaR Drive, Orion Drive, Thruster Drive ("Does anyone hear a spurious noise?"), Gravitic Drive, Maneuver Drive, Jump Drive, Hop Drive, Skip Drive, Leap Drive, Seven Drive, Eight Drive, Nine Drive, ALBUQUERQUE DRIVE!


You want Vargr? Traveller5 has Aekhu Vargr, Akumgeda Vargr, Gvegh Vargr, Irilitok Vargr, Kokasha Vargr, Logaksu Vargr, Nakagun Vargr, Ovaghoun Vargr, Roth Thokken Vargr, Suedzuk Vargr, Urzaeng Vargr... MORE VARGR THAN CHARTED SPACE HAS ROOM FOR!


These aren't YOUR furries! They're 1981 furies!


Want Aslan? Call Narnia, fool! Ftherhle FTW!


...Warning: may contain Marc W. Miller...


”This is the Free Trader Beowulf...”
 
Whew!


Er, not exactly GDW/FFE style though. Sounds like Traveller adverts done by the Grand Theft Auto guys.
 
I would agree that Marc put a fair amount of material in Traveller 5 that could have better been put on in separate booklets.

I still have not figured out why Beastpower is in there, as not costs are attached to it, nor volume, and it tops out at 15 tons, which could be either mass or Traveller displacement tons. Basically, it appears on page 254 and then vanishes.
 
T5 is a toolkit. Use the bits you need for what you are doing. Makers, wafer tech, synthetics, sophonts, system generation, starports, technology (I personally will never use the character generation, task system or combat resolution, and I am still undecided on ship construction since if I want fast I use CT and if I want detailed I use FF&S - this is for at the table role playing, I still think HG is a thing of flawed beauty and can't resist trying to perfect it)

Eating the whole elephant will give you indigestion...
 
I agree that it is a tool kit, but a bit of a jumbled one. Sort of like mine. I can find what I want, but it takes a while.
 
Wow!

whartung said:
Yea, I didn't get the reference either.



Search for Powerthirst and Powerthirst 2 on Youtube. Classic, early internet YouTube.

So funny.
Click to expand...
Wait, are these "You'll run as fast a Kenyan!" people? Either way, ,ight have to check them out.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm sick of hearing people excuse the issues of T5 by saying it is a "Toolkit." It was marketed and sold as a complete RPG. It was not marketed and sold to backers and a collection of alternative/advanced rules to use in other version of Traveller.
 
I am not using at as an excuse.

Even if they fix the character generation, task system and combat resolution I will not use them since they are based on T4.

The toolkit bits still make it very usable to me.

I recently bought the Fate space toolkit - I dislike Fate and will never use it. But it is an excellent toolkit for designing a setting.
 
mike wightman said:
I recently bought the Fate space toolkit - I dislike Fate and will never use it. But it is an excellent toolkit for designing a setting.
Click to expand...

Likewise, I am using Stars Without Number in a similar fashion. As well as T5. T5 has been a big disappointment for me but I value the ideas and certain mechanics to add depth to my MgT game.
 
lordmalachdrim said:
I'm sick of hearing people excuse the issues of T5 by saying it is a "Toolkit." It was marketed and sold as a complete RPG. It was not marketed and sold to backers and a collection of alternative/advanced rules to use in other version of Traveller.
Click to expand...

That's not mutually exclusive. It can be a game by itself, and a good toolkit to be used for other versions (or even for other games).

In fact, I guess most of us use a main version, and some bits of others when playing...
 
ThornPlutonius said:
Remember that T5.1 is in the process of being printed in three books.
Click to expand...

Interesting. Must find more info about this.

So I've been away for awhile. Was there ever any formal publication of errata, or (better yet) a new PDF with errata incorporated and errors fixed, distributed for free to purchasers of the existing multi-flawed product as some classy publishers do?
 
lordmalachdrim said:
I'm sick of hearing people excuse the issues of T5 by saying it is a "Toolkit." It was marketed and sold as a complete RPG. It was not marketed and sold to backers and a collection of alternative/advanced rules to use in other version of Traveller.
Click to expand...

It becomes much more workable as a game if you strip out the Character Generation, world generation, and to an extent, non-combat ship construction, and use that as the basis for a game. All of the various "make" sections serve to complicate things, as those should be been in separate booklets, not the main rules. They are useful for ideas, if that is your bent. I go through Thingmaker seeing if I can use anything or find out how much off the Tech Level is so as to avoid the same mistake.
 
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