Traveller5: It’s like doing advanced calculus while on fire!
Sound the alarm! You’re gonna be FTL!
Missiles! You’ll fire so many missiles! 400 MISSILES!
Give Traveller5 to your Relict Clones and they’ll be FTL FOREVER!
Margaret: “What about my noble patent?”
MANSPLAIN IT!
When the Imperium fails you, you ASSASSINATE THE EMPEROR!
Capital Ship Derby! It’s a sport you’ll have to invent because you’ll be too Traveller5 for Zhodani Psionic Olympics!
“Help me! Ancients uplifted my dog.” When Ancients take your puppy, you FIND A NEW DOG! CORSAIRBURGERS! The Flamebroiled Death!
Traveller5: it’s like toothbrushing WITH CHAINSAWS!
Traveller5 comes in all-new flavors such as PLASMA, FUSION, and ANTIMATTERRRRR!!
“My Tech Level is too low.”
SINGULARITY!
“Houston, we have lift-off.”
UNACCEPTABLE!
K’kree! You’ll eat so much K’kree that even Hivers be manipulatin’ like, “Slowww dowwwnnnnn....” And your URZAENG VARGR will will say, “BITE ME!” And he’ll eat Hiver cakes for dessert!
Mis-jumps! 400 PARSECS!
Traveller5: It’s like a supernova diarrhea for your brain.
Grognards: “Where’s mah dice?” Traveller5 has dice so large it FLATTENS ENTIRE WORLDS!!
You’ll have Skills. CHUCK NORRIS SKILLS! You’ll be so old that you can co-pilot for CHUCK NORRIS! ARCHDUKE NORRIS!!!
Strephon: “Nya-Nyaaah! Missed me!”
DULINOR! You’ll be so Traveller5, you’ll stand up to a RAGING HARVESTER COMBINE!!!
Cymbeline! When the chips are down, you MAKE A NEW VIRUS!
Empress Wave: not something done in a stadium, jackass
Brzk: “What about me and my blue collar?” JULIAN PROTECTORATE! Bringing the au jus
Vilani: “I don’t understand Traveller5.”
HANDWAVE IT! RULE-0 FOREVER!!
This aren’t your grandma’s vanilla wafers. These are DECIDER WAFERS!!
Traveller5: It makes even Vargr VARGGRRRRR!
Meson Gun Bays, Meson Gun Main, Meson Gun Spine...DEEP MESON GUNS!
Turn your car into the DEATH STARRR!
With Friends Like These...
“Pakk, how would you stat yourself in Traveller5?”
JJJJJJ-JJ, because real Traveller5 is NC-17!
Warning: Traveller5 minors found will be given a Red Bull and a puppy and sent back to their parents.
“Susie, put down the Urzaeng Vargr, honey.”
You want Uplifted Minotaurs? CATTLE DRESS!
Sword Worlders: The Original 1977 Starbarians!
Drives? Traveller5 has Drives: Power Plant Drive, Collector Drive, HEPlaR Drive, Orion Drive, Thruster Drive ("Does anyone hear a spurious noise?"), Gravitic Drive, Maneuver Drive, Jump Drive, Hop Drive, Skip Drive, Leap Drive, Seven Drive, Eight Drive, Nine Drive, ALBUQUERQUE DRIVE!
You want Vargr? Traveller5 has Aekhu Vargr, Akumgeda Vargr, Gvegh Vargr, Irilitok Vargr, Kokasha Vargr, Logaksu Vargr, Nakagun Vargr, Ovaghoun Vargr, Roth Thokken Vargr, Suedzuk Vargr, Urzaeng Vargr... MORE VARGR THAN CHARTED SPACE HAS ROOM FOR!
These aren't YOUR furries! They're 1981 furies!
Want Aslan? Call Narnia, fool! Ftherhle FTW!
...Warning: may contain Marc W. Miller...
”This is the Free Trader Beowulf...”
Sound the alarm! You’re gonna be FTL!
Missiles! You’ll fire so many missiles! 400 MISSILES!
Give Traveller5 to your Relict Clones and they’ll be FTL FOREVER!
Margaret: “What about my noble patent?”
MANSPLAIN IT!
When the Imperium fails you, you ASSASSINATE THE EMPEROR!
Capital Ship Derby! It’s a sport you’ll have to invent because you’ll be too Traveller5 for Zhodani Psionic Olympics!
“Help me! Ancients uplifted my dog.” When Ancients take your puppy, you FIND A NEW DOG! CORSAIRBURGERS! The Flamebroiled Death!
Traveller5: it’s like toothbrushing WITH CHAINSAWS!
Traveller5 comes in all-new flavors such as PLASMA, FUSION, and ANTIMATTERRRRR!!
“My Tech Level is too low.”
SINGULARITY!
“Houston, we have lift-off.”
UNACCEPTABLE!
K’kree! You’ll eat so much K’kree that even Hivers be manipulatin’ like, “Slowww dowwwnnnnn....” And your URZAENG VARGR will will say, “BITE ME!” And he’ll eat Hiver cakes for dessert!
Mis-jumps! 400 PARSECS!
Traveller5: It’s like a supernova diarrhea for your brain.
Grognards: “Where’s mah dice?” Traveller5 has dice so large it FLATTENS ENTIRE WORLDS!!
You’ll have Skills. CHUCK NORRIS SKILLS! You’ll be so old that you can co-pilot for CHUCK NORRIS! ARCHDUKE NORRIS!!!
Strephon: “Nya-Nyaaah! Missed me!”
DULINOR! You’ll be so Traveller5, you’ll stand up to a RAGING HARVESTER COMBINE!!!
Cymbeline! When the chips are down, you MAKE A NEW VIRUS!
Empress Wave: not something done in a stadium, jackass
Brzk: “What about me and my blue collar?” JULIAN PROTECTORATE! Bringing the au jus
Vilani: “I don’t understand Traveller5.”
HANDWAVE IT! RULE-0 FOREVER!!
This aren’t your grandma’s vanilla wafers. These are DECIDER WAFERS!!
Traveller5: It makes even Vargr VARGGRRRRR!
Meson Gun Bays, Meson Gun Main, Meson Gun Spine...DEEP MESON GUNS!
Turn your car into the DEATH STARRR!
With Friends Like These...
“Pakk, how would you stat yourself in Traveller5?”
JJJJJJ-JJ, because real Traveller5 is NC-17!
Warning: Traveller5 minors found will be given a Red Bull and a puppy and sent back to their parents.
“Susie, put down the Urzaeng Vargr, honey.”
You want Uplifted Minotaurs? CATTLE DRESS!
Sword Worlders: The Original 1977 Starbarians!
Drives? Traveller5 has Drives: Power Plant Drive, Collector Drive, HEPlaR Drive, Orion Drive, Thruster Drive ("Does anyone hear a spurious noise?"), Gravitic Drive, Maneuver Drive, Jump Drive, Hop Drive, Skip Drive, Leap Drive, Seven Drive, Eight Drive, Nine Drive, ALBUQUERQUE DRIVE!
You want Vargr? Traveller5 has Aekhu Vargr, Akumgeda Vargr, Gvegh Vargr, Irilitok Vargr, Kokasha Vargr, Logaksu Vargr, Nakagun Vargr, Ovaghoun Vargr, Roth Thokken Vargr, Suedzuk Vargr, Urzaeng Vargr... MORE VARGR THAN CHARTED SPACE HAS ROOM FOR!
These aren't YOUR furries! They're 1981 furies!
Want Aslan? Call Narnia, fool! Ftherhle FTW!
...Warning: may contain Marc W. Miller...
”This is the Free Trader Beowulf...”