Hi Pakkrat;
As per our PM exchange, I guess the only thing I'm finding "flawed", if you can call it that, is that your characters tend to be on the verbose side when speaking. It's actually a very common thing for nearly every writer I've ever read. There's a real desire to clarify things for the reader and/or just make the characters say more than they really need to. It happens with Verne, Bradbury, Asimov, Pournelle, LeGuinn, Stasheff, Eklund, pretty much everyone. With my own screenwriting training from both Jim Kitzes, August Coppola and the guys and gals at his younger brother's forum at Zoetrope, tend to economize dialogue unless you're writing either a rom-com or a heavy drama (romance or court drama), where dialogue can become paramount.
All the pro-screenwriters that Coppola hired for his film program tended to put a few mantras into our head to avoid the such, but that's assuming it's an issue with you. I'm not sure that being verbose is an issue, but I brought it up because like I say, it's something that I often see with authors of all stripes.
I guess my only other critique is that like quite a few other game fiction authors you tend to use game or rules' language for prose description and dialogue. One of the big examples I usually cite or Star Fleet Battles' fiction authors, whether it's stuff in one of the "Captain's Log" publications or fan-fic on some website, those writers, as an example, will use terminology like "Weapons' Status" instead of "Red Alert" or "Condition green" or even "battle stations", all stemming from actual naval lexicon or terminology used in the TV show.
I actually used to get a little worked up about it, but I just shrug my shoulders at it now. Fan fic is, well, fan fic. But if you were actually part of a scout survey team or even an uplifted wolf on a corsair, would you really use "Tech Level" as a term to describe a planet? I think there are some off handed fictional references within official publications, which to me just underscores my point that even the best of us tend to borrow a bit too much from the rules.
You have a more relaxed and intimate approach to the Vargr. To me the Vargr, as officially written up, verge on being a stereotype of themselves, and in this way a possible one-trick pony terms of characterizations, but you've added some conversational dynamics to them.
You're far more considerate to your readers than ever I can be in terms of posting freshly typed prose. I've got a minor dyslexic problem which is another factor why I didn't pursue engineering (forgetting numbers can have lethal consequences), and manifests itself when I go back and read something several times and see not just spelling errors, but dropped words.
In other words your stuff is very clean. Kudos
Anyway, I haven't delved into your novel yet. Those are just some thought I had when I read your preamble chapters.