The cold truth about HG2 combat is that the fleet compositions pretty much determine the outcome, the dice are there only to determine how much is costs. It's really not much more sophisticated than Risk combat at the high level. A slug fest of players throwing dice at each other.
That conclusion came to a blinding crescendo if you ever look at the rules and designer notes for Battle Rider. Effectively, all that matters are Critical Hits, everything else is just show.
That said, it's difficult to grasp the "grinding then down over months and months" scenario, considering the expense and time it takes to muster and jump a fleet in to a target system.
If the fleet leaves, then the target system isn't interdicted and can be, potentially, resupplied. If both forces are in the system, and there is not a decisive advantage to either of them, then I can see an attacking fleet simply parking in the outer system, and possibly interdicting freight traffic, while waiting for reinforcements. But if one fleet does have a decisive advantage, the only reason to stay is to make the conquest more expensive for the opponent, the price paid being your fleet/defense and whatever it takes with it in terms of the enemy.
Speaking of which, has anyone ever written up the mechanics for attacking a planet with deep meson sites? Do you treat them as, say, 5-10k dton ships with infinite armor (like meson guns care) and 0 agility, with the best screens, computers, and redundant systems?
Basically a docked meson only M0 Battle Rider?
How many sites would a planet have? 10? 100?
A meson only Battle Rider / Monitor is more expensive, but not insanely so than a meson site. You'd think a static site might be cheaper to maintain. So, deep site or monitor...hmm.