Famous Last Words
- Thread starter DElrick
- Start date
A MultiPlayer FPS variant:
Guy in the Back: Move. I can't get past you!
Guy in the Front: That's cause I'm fighting the freakin' Minotaur with the Chain Gun! I can't move!
Just wait a bit till we kill him.
Guy in the Back: Move! I'm coming through! I'll shoot if I have to!
Guy in the Front: I can't move!
Guy in the Back: All right, you asked for it!
<red mist all around>
Guy who was in the Front: What did you have for a weapon?
Guy who was in the Back: Rocket Launcher.
It was obviously "A Door To Far".
I've seen the equivalently smart choice:
Rearguard Fighter: I'm bored. I go back one room and open the left hand door we didn't go through.
GM: But the rest of the party are up to their neck in Sahuagin... are you sure you want to do this?
Reargaurd Fighter: Sure, I don't have anyone to fight....
<followed shortly by having many many enemies to fight and a cut-off party with no exit route...>
Voice of PC calling on the public comm: "I think they're on to me! You've got to know.... I've found out who was behind the sabotage.... it was...."<tinkle of breaking glass, sound of body slumping to ground>
Noble PC on the roof of his villa, after his Liege-Lord had ordered his arrest and sent a... slightly excitable errand boy
Grav Tanks: "Surrender..."
Recalcitrant Noble: Say nothing. I give them the finger.
Player 1: I was minding my own business, and you SHOT me!
Player 2: You looked like you were up to something.
Low-Level Thief: I backstab the Ogre....
Noble PC on the roof of his villa, after his Liege-Lord had ordered his arrest and sent a... slightly excitable errand boy
Grav Tanks: "Surrender..."
Recalcitrant Noble: Say nothing. I give them the finger.
Player 1: I was minding my own business, and you SHOT me!
Player 2: You looked like you were up to something.
Low-Level Thief: I backstab the Ogre....
Working on a bomb build pad, some words just cause a tightening of the cheeks in preparation to a long sprint, others will cause an immediate olympic class sprint.
They are in increasing order of seriousness and lethality:
- Oh darn!
- You Idiot!!
- OH @$%%&%#@$!!!!
- Don't do that!
- Evacuate Now!!!
- Oh Sh-T!
- What was that sound?
- Run for it!!!
- Huh?
- opps!
- Click (Non verbal)
- Harp music???
Basic rule of seriousness one, If they had time to say it, then you are still alive and have time to run.
They are in increasing order of seriousness and lethality:
- Oh darn!
- You Idiot!!
- OH @$%%&%#@$!!!!
- Don't do that!
- Evacuate Now!!!
- Oh Sh-T!
- What was that sound?
- Run for it!!!
- Huh?
- opps!
- Click (Non verbal)
- Harp music???
Basic rule of seriousness one, If they had time to say it, then you are still alive and have time to run.
From the same adventure as my first post (Night of Conquest), although possibly a different group:
They had got back to the port and found a TL4 soldier guarding their ship. One of the PCs put several wires into his cigarette case and walked out:
Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
PC: This is a thermonuclear bomb. Let me pass or I'll detonate it.
G: What's a thingy bomb?
PC: It'll blow this entire city to fragments.
G: Well, if it's that powerful, disarm it or I'll shoot you.
PC: No.
Or,
Heard in a friend's Shadowrun game:
"You can't kill us, we know where the bodies are buried."
They had got back to the port and found a TL4 soldier guarding their ship. One of the PCs put several wires into his cigarette case and walked out:
Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
PC: This is a thermonuclear bomb. Let me pass or I'll detonate it.
G: What's a thingy bomb?
PC: It'll blow this entire city to fragments.
G: Well, if it's that powerful, disarm it or I'll shoot you.
PC: No.
Or,
Heard in a friend's Shadowrun game:
"You can't kill us, we know where the bodies are buried."
Evil priest has slain about half the party and paralyzed the other half. Impresive looking fellow he is, he walks up to our halfling thief:
Evil Cleric: "Join me or Die!"
Halfling Thief: Can I move?
GM: Nope, you're paralyzed. You can look around, talk a bit, and that's it.
Halfling Thief: <thinks>
Halfling Thief: I spit in his eye.
Or one from a Top Secret game:
"I dive into the room and try to shoot out the candles with my .45"
(ignoring the armed enemies...)
Or frequently heard in the FPS Ghost Recon or Rogue Spear:
"Aw Sh*#!" <accompanied by the sound of a grenade landing at the feet of the thrower, usually with the rest of the team clustered around for entry>
or
"Murphy! Murphy!"
"Who shot me?!!!?!!!"
"Err.... that was you?.... I thought that was a terrorist... the IFF comes up a bit slowly...."
Evil Cleric: "Join me or Die!"
Halfling Thief: Can I move?
GM: Nope, you're paralyzed. You can look around, talk a bit, and that's it.
Halfling Thief: <thinks>
Halfling Thief: I spit in his eye.
Or one from a Top Secret game:
"I dive into the room and try to shoot out the candles with my .45"
(ignoring the armed enemies...)
Or frequently heard in the FPS Ghost Recon or Rogue Spear:
"Aw Sh*#!" <accompanied by the sound of a grenade landing at the feet of the thrower, usually with the rest of the team clustered around for entry>
or
"Murphy! Murphy!"
"Who shot me?!!!?!!!"
"Err.... that was you?.... I thought that was a terrorist... the IFF comes up a bit slowly...."
WarriorKnight
SOC-12
During a hostage rescue team game run using T2K rules,the team leader calls over the radio to the team sniper "Shoot the 1st person out the door."He forgot to resend the order after the bad guy who was head for the door was taken out.TL then walks out door to wave up to sniper that everything was under control.Oooppss.That was close to 10 yrs ago & the player has never lived it down.
grendelttroll
SOC-12
Traveller:
"Relax, The flashing light on the power plant is just a cautiion light."
D&D:
GM (Me): "You are disguised as Drow and in the middle of the city's temple to Lolth during a major ceremony. The place is crawling with spiders. In fact, one is crossing over the paladin's shoulder..."
Player: "I crush it."
Hope This Helps...
"Relax, The flashing light on the power plant is just a cautiion light."
D&D:
GM (Me): "You are disguised as Drow and in the middle of the city's temple to Lolth during a major ceremony. The place is crawling with spiders. In fact, one is crossing over the paladin's shoulder..."
Player: "I crush it."
Hope This Helps...
mark_rotteveel
SOC-12
New player in first combat, mournfully turns to Referee...
"Whaddya mean 'We don't use armour saves'?????"
Another one that cracked up the whole party was half way through a combat session. I normally just say "OK declare actions" and then point to the players in turn. And it went like this...
Player 1: "I shoot the same guy"
Player 2: "Continue hand to hand"
Player 3: "unjam my gun"
Player 4: "I enter into a macabre dance of death which is one mans victory, and another mans hell.."
Me: "Come again?"
Player 4: "Punch the guy in front of me..."
"Whaddya mean 'We don't use armour saves'?????"
Another one that cracked up the whole party was half way through a combat session. I normally just say "OK declare actions" and then point to the players in turn. And it went like this...
Player 1: "I shoot the same guy"
Player 2: "Continue hand to hand"
Player 3: "unjam my gun"
Player 4: "I enter into a macabre dance of death which is one mans victory, and another mans hell.."
Me: "Come again?"
Player 4: "Punch the guy in front of me..."
Keklas Rekobah
SOC-14 1K
"No worries, mate! E'd afta be a right sharp-eyed dingo to spot us 'ere!" - Last words of Jerry "Diggerie-Doo" Dugan, at the Vargr incursion of Remult-IV, ISY 1099.
What could possibly go wrong? 
It's fireproof.
What does this button do?
The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
Why is the rest of the Star Trek landing party wearing a different color?
Pull the pin and count to what?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I wonder where the mother bear is.
Give me liberty or give me death.
This doesn't taste right.
God I hope I’m right.
Nice Vargr.
I can do that with my eyes closed.
Hey that's not a violin
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
OK this is the last time.
Don't be so superstitious.
Now watch this.
What duck?
It's fireproof.
What does this button do?
The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
Why is the rest of the Star Trek landing party wearing a different color?
Pull the pin and count to what?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I wonder where the mother bear is.
Give me liberty or give me death.
This doesn't taste right.
God I hope I’m right.
Nice Vargr.
I can do that with my eyes closed.
Hey that's not a violin
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
OK this is the last time.
Don't be so superstitious.
Now watch this.
What duck?
far-trader
SOC-14 10K
<pulls out shades and puts them on>
SMACK
Nice ones Zanrain (and everybody), more good memories
Of course for our bunch it was always...
No. 3 "DUCK!"
No. 7 <looking up> "Where?"
No. 7 <now looking up from the ground> "Ohhh, duck, right."
No. 6 "I AM NOT A NUMBER!"
(sorry, couldn't resist
)BetterThanLife
SOC-14 1K
From a Shadowrun game. "Aw come on how tough could a Dragon be?"
Also from Shadowrun. "I punch the Troll."
"I am surrounded by Marines? I shoot at the guy that looks like he is in charge!"
Also from Shadowrun. "I punch the Troll."
"I am surrounded by Marines? I shoot at the guy that looks like he is in charge!"
Keklas Rekobah
SOC-14 1K
Sol: "Hey, this gizzy started saying something in vargr as soon as I picked it up. Who can translate?"
Pol: "Hmm... let me check my dictionary... that's the word for 'three'... that means 'two'... and that's definately 'one'..."
Sol: "Three? Two? O, sh"
Pol: "Hmm... let me check my dictionary... that's the word for 'three'... that means 'two'... and that's definately 'one'..."
Sol: "Three? Two? O, sh"
BetterThanLife
SOC-14 1K
Reminds me of a character in Twilight2000. "Hey what's this? There is some writing on it in Russian." "Let me take a look I speak Russian. It says, "Front towrads en....""
trader jim
SOC-14 1K
Famous last words from one called JAME........
HEY>>> THAT CANT BE "TRADERS RAIDERS"......
HEY>>> THAT CANT BE "TRADERS RAIDERS"......
Andrew Boulton
The Adminator
Many, many years ago, the PCs in my game found an Ancient artefact, a dull grey box the size of a book with two gold studs on the end. They tried to figure out what it was.
PC: I press one of the studs.
Me: Nothing happens.
PC: I press the other.
Me: Nothing happens.
PC: I press both at the same time.
Me: There's a flash of light and a smell of burning. Take 100 points of damage. The antimatter battery lands on the floor next to your smoking boots...
PC: I press one of the studs.
Me: Nothing happens.
PC: I press the other.
Me: Nothing happens.
PC: I press both at the same time.
Me: There's a flash of light and a smell of burning. Take 100 points of damage. The antimatter battery lands on the floor next to your smoking boots...
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