I had the "privilege" of commanding a mixed unit in the Army. Have you ever commanded a mixed unit?
No I have not but I am aware that a bunch of 20 year olds of mixed sex and healthy physiology, often in environments with little else to do, is a recipe for trouble, disruptive pregnancies, behaviors and mismatched priorities/loyalties, and a real command challenge.
Apparently an ongoing one in RL given current policies. Going forward, it will just have to get done, wise manpower policy or not.
In RL Chesty's exuberant behavior and those of her troops would likely be squashed and proper discipline maintained, even moreso to keep units functional and modelling behavior for an Imperium whose armed forces would be very polyglot with all the incredibly diverse societies that would make up the recruits.
So, if you absolutely must have deadly realistic force behavior in your games and literature, and in addition it's a real life irritant running across people who 'get it wrong', well this character isn't for you.
I'm thinking though that sometimes the rules bend or change for certain personalities with accomplishment, an interstellar organization that is a 'government of men' is more flexible to quirks to get the benefit of people with very different ways of doing things, and it's not impossible for such a story to occur.
Don't have to go much further then TE Lawrence, Wingate or Jack Churchill to find examples of eccentric behavior tolerated for a larger goal. Patton for an American example.
So, I think with that kind of mentality and governance, it's more a matter of the Emperor saying 'I can't spare this woman, she fights', and people having to accede to it.
So much for justification of the referee sort. From a game/entertainment perspective, she's just fun, and this thread is a highlight for me.
Your experience obviously varies.
I have had the experience in a different sort of game then Traveller having a 'subordinate' who wanted to achieve in game what he had tried to do his whole RL career and not achieved to his satisfaction- imposing a force doctrine so everyone fought as one under the same approach.
When it became clear that internet gamers are not professional soldiers you can order after all and I as the organization's CO wasn't going to undercut the larger mission of running the game for his agenda, this and some other issues about our approach caused him to quit.
It was too frustrating to revisit his professional frustrations in his entertainment and so he quit the position and the game, and to my knowledge is still out there canoeing and fishing (although it has been 12 years ago).
So I won't denigrate what is obviously a similar professional frustration seemingly revisited in a gaming forum you inhabit with 'clueless' civilians not rendering the service experience realistically.
I doubt very much there could be much persuasion or 'look at it this way' that would work with you, and I certainly am not going to seek to alter what you find displeasing or compelling material.
But just remember, the rest of us may have a very different approach and entertainment experience to how to run characters and the game.