Well without even seeing the design if you're going strictly by the book I see a few problems, er oppurtunities to gain more credits

right off...
First 500ton hulls by LBB2 are a bad choice. You don't get the cost benefit of a standard hull for one and have to use drives rated for a 600ton hull for another. The second part wastes space (revenue) and money. Pick a standard hull (under 800tons) and stay within the Drives space.
Second is the 2G maneuver drive. Not really needed in most cases, 1G saves space and money.
Third even if trading exclusively between two high pop, similar TL, systems you'll only rarely fill all those staterooms with high passengers, so you could cut back on that some.
Fourth if it is between two high pop, similar TL, systems you could bump up the lowberths. You'd be routinely turning away a couple passengers there, and they don't require Stewards.
Fifth is the mention of gunners (plural). If it's that dangerous ok but generally all you should need is one, and that simply for the chance to snag a mail contract. Weapons are pricey.
Sixth is the crewing in general. You have: Pilot, Navigator, 2 Engineers, 5 Stewards, Medic, and 5 Gunners (if not using double duty). A better mix would be double duty for all as: Pilot/Navigator, Engineer/Gunner (for the purists who think simply doing Engineer/Engineer is wrong), Engineer/Steward, and Steward/Medic, adding any local kid as a working passage Steward when you have the extra high passages booked, or making that the Chief Steward/Owner Aboard. So a crew of 4 (or 5) and 24 passage staterooms for up to 24 high passagengers.
Of course, all that said if this is a subsidized ship you can ignore the economics
It's a "job creation program" and losing money is not an issue
Oops, almost forgot one more possible area to cut back, the computer of course. All you need is a model/1BIS and try to avoid pricey programs like combat ones. Stick to the minimum there, try to go with just Target and limit that one turret to a pair of pulse lasers. And that only if you absolutely must be armed
Don't take any of this the wrong way, I'm just trying to show where you might make some gains on the bottom line.